Now I Remember.....

We entered the Barnes & Noble just as any family would.... walking with our feet, through the door and into the awesomeness that IS the B&N. We had been anxiously anticipating this trip to 'town'. The boys hadn't been to the new B&N yet, and had heard tales of it having an escalator. That magical traveling device that transports you to the next level of retail books to purchase.

The glorious escalator.

Except, when we entered, we stopped, looked right at the escalator, and Fox announced, 'Now I remember what an escalator is, I don't like it.'

As a close knit, supportive family, we all began to laugh at him. We made him ride the escalator.



After, a few times up and down, he got more used to it.



These two didn't have a problem.



They were only too happy to encourage their brother. I think someone said, 'Don't forget to step off at the end, or you'll get sucked underneath.' Someone else recommended, 'he hold on with just his hands and swing all the way down.'



Yes, I did have my camera in the B&N! Thanks to Terri and Wendy, I am inspired to carry that thing everywhere! See? It brings me joy!



By the time, we made it back to the car, Fox was feeling back to his 'normal-not-normal' self.



I believe we can check RIDE ESCALATOR off his bucket list.

My name's not "Merriam Webster," but......

I am a loquacious lady (I 'talk alot').  I consider myself quite perspicacious (I'm 'observant').  While I may be no Einstein (I'm not a 'genius'), I certainly appreciate impeccable lexicon (I 'like the way other people talk').  Now my cerebral cortex aches!!

Word.  To ya motha....

Apparently, there are tons of words that have to be used correctly...or other people will laugh at you (or I will laugh at you).  Here's a list of words that I've used, I've heard used, or I've laughed at people for using because we didn't use them indubitable (yes, yes, I know...it's an adverb!):

1.  Suspicion--noun--not verb:  "I suspicion that she is inappropriately wielding words."

2.  ExemplaRARY--not even a word:  "We praise you for doing exemplarary work!"

3.  Irregardless--another not even a word:  "You must behave irregardless of what others are doing."

4.  NuCULAR--again, another not even a word--AND, dictionary.com thought I meant ocular!!:  "Did y'all see that mushroom cloud come from behind me??  I think it's a nucular tutor!"  (sorry...you can take the girl outta hicksville.........)

While I may not be as continental as some (I haven't been many places besides West Texas), I am slightly bilingual (I can talk a little in another language).  Not only do I brandish skill (I got it going on!) in bilingualism (remember?  I can talk in another language...), Sassy & I totally fabricated (we totally made it up!) a foreign word!  I think it's my new favorite "unword!"

5.  Ajajajajajajajajaja--Spanish word for 'Ahahahahaha':  "Gurl!  Did you know that glitter is the herpes of the craft world?  Ajajajajajajajajajajaaj!!!!"

Deuces Baby!!!  (Farewell yon friends, fans & followers)

Random Funny

Today is randomly the best day ever! Or, maybe it's specifically, the best day ever! Either way, here's some funny stuff that I just realized. This is my world, enjoy!!

1. I just realized that I've been wearing my contacts in the wrong eyes for two days.

2. Right after I realized that, I figured out (using math) that Saturday-Wednesday is more than 2 days. Yay! I'm using math safely!!

3. It makes me dizzy to wear my contacts backwards, but that didn't concern me for 4days. I'm all livin' in dizzy-ville and lovin' it!!

4. Being dizzy may or may not make you fall off of tall flip flops when you wear them to walk down the hall. This information is just to keep you safe, people! Tall flip flops aren't for everyday, or every dizzy day.

5. Your house always looks cleaner if you are dizzy, or if you can only see it with one eye open. Try it!

6. This picture is just funny! Dizzy or not!!

Robbery 101....me, educating you.

After watching our local police heroes work almost an entire day in our neighborhood to apprehend 4 small-time-high-school-aged burglars (which was totally like Desperate Housewives meets C.O.P.S.!), I've come to a few conclusions regarding the logistics of proper home-burglary.  Here are just a few "Do's" & "Don'ts" for effective neighborhood robbery--as I see them:


1.   When "casing the joint," remain conspicuous.  For example, if you're sitting in your highly-recognizable beat-up and old SUV at 3:00AM the morning prior to committing your felonious act, and the local policewoman on patrol stops and questions your 3:00AM actions, I suggest you wait a day or two before "doin' yo thang in the hood."


2.  Don't continue to roam the "hood" once you have been "made!" You will get caught, just like your friend in the back of the squad car right now.


3.  This is just an FYI--after all, safety IS key!  My 68 yr. old neighbor lady has her CHL (concealed handgun license) & a pistol that she keeps behind her TV....she will busta cap in yo bootay!


4.  While nonchalantly making your composed get-away because you believe you've evaded the 30 or so neighbors in their yards and the 20-pistol-wagging law enforcement officials in 8 vehicles and on foot in a 45-house circle, it is probably most wise not to try to outrun the angry homeowners you've just robbed of 2 TV's & gaming system.  After all, I feel certain that the Ford F150 bearing down on you at well above the posted speed limit could render you without the use of your legs.....and, most likely, with wet pants as well.  But, I don't know your level of fear-tolerance when facing a 60MPH-in-one-block oncoming truck with a pissed off man at the wheel.  You be the judge.     


5. Finally, and this is the most important--the granddaddy of all robbery rules, if you will--Don't rob the mayor--right across the street from us--in our small, suburban town. 911 responds 10X's faster to his house...DUH!


Keep in mind, these are simply the shoulds and shouldn'ts as I see them.  I'm not experienced in this sort of felony action, but I AM all about safety and education.

  


See you in the police blotter! 

Happy Easter!, part 2

Happy Easter!

Feminine Hygiene...It's HILARIOUS!!!

Let me tell you a little secret....I sometimes laugh at totally inappropriate things!  SHHH!!!  Don't tell anyone.

This new ad campaign by the Kotex company is BRILLIANT!  This is just one of the new commercials out and I have laughed out loud (lol) at every one of them!

This is just good TV and I would be remiss if I didn't share my giggly bliss with all of you marvelous and fantastic readers.

You, too, can YouTube search for more of these ads and join me in my dirty little secret....laughing at humorous TV!  I feel so Seinfeld!

 *click here>*  Kotex

Peace Out!