Summer Conversations... or, Why Reading the TV Ticker is a Great Lifeskill.

The days are passing too quickly. Summer is evaporating before my very eyes. Football starts Monday. How is this possible?

I plan on cramming every bit of summer fun into these last days of summer. Or, I might just stay home and watch movies in the air conditioning...... Let's just wait and see.

Summer has been going on long enough that I'm comfortable with my next declaration. People, I vow to you all. I declare with a loud voice. Sponge Bob stupid will not be on my TV again this summer. Amen.

I know there are 2-8 blog readers out there that like to click their feelings at the end of each post. Please, don't hide your true cartoon thoughts.

Now, on to more important summer things. Today, PrissE and I had some floating time. Seems like it's been too long since we had a good float together. I'm not talking about ice cream.

During today's float, we discussed current events with the lifeguard. Because we can people. We can discuss current events with teenagers and no one gets hurt. That's why.

Today's current event was the NFL lockout ending. I was delighted to share my current event knowledge. The conversation went a little something like this:

Me: I read today that the Cowboys have released a bunch of players to get under that new salary cap.

PrissE: I'm so impressed! You read an entire article! Was it online or in a magazine?

Me: Oh NO! It was the ticker running across the bottom of the TV while I watched Sports Center. That information is accurate.

PrissE nearly drowned from laughing so hard. Now do you see why it's so important to share your current events with the lifeguard?

Summer Routine?

No. We don't have a summer routine. This deeply disappoints two people in my house. Two people that really need a cruise director. Sadly, we didn't budget for any new employees this summer. So, no cruise director.



One of my friends asked a very interesting question on the FB yesterday. What is the most frequently asked question at your house? No one really replied with anything except me.

'What are we gonna do next?'

'Can I have a snack now?'

'Is my Under Armour shirt clean?'

Children can ask them as many times as they want. The answers are always the same.




'I'm not your cruise director.'

'Is it 3:30?'

'I have no idea.'

I was super bored one day, so I answered their questions with random answers...... for instance, to the question, 'Can I have a snack now?' I replied, 'I have no idea.'

Totally confused them both. So, true to form, one ate a snack and the other walked away with a confused look on his face.



It didn't stop there. Mav came by right before lunch with the standard, 'Is my Under Armour shirt clean?' So I replied, 'Is it 3:30 yet?' He looked at the clock, and walked away. I really chuckled, because Moms are so good at stuff like this. (Or so I thought.)

3:30 rolls around and Mav informs me that it is 3:30 and his shirt still isn't clean. What do I have to say for myself? Smiles. Walks away.

Now, I'm the puzzled one. I get up, go look in the laundry room, stand there for a second, and he re-appears. Just looks at me and says, 'It works both ways Mom.'



(Did I just get zinged? By my own trick?)

I'm just filling the day people. There's no reason for any of this.

I'm home.

While I was away, I think only one of the teenagers missed me. I received one phone call from the smallest boy. The one that has been attached to my hip for most of the summer. He phoned, it went a little something like this:

Me: Hello? What's up cutie?

Mav: Mom, I'm busy but I needed to tell you I made a bead sculpture.

Me: Okay, what are you busy doing?

Mav: Didn't you hear me? I just made a bead sculpture.

Me: Oh! That sounds cool. What of?

Mav: BEADS. Can't you hear me. It's made of BEADS! Little plastic circles... different colors... BEADS!!

Me: Yes, I get that. What are the beads in the shape of?

Mav: Reade, Meg and Penny.

Me: OH... how neat! Why did you......

Mav: Mom, I gotta go. Gaggy is waiting on me to go to the store.

Me: Okay, bye! I love you!

** END SIGNAL **



Sometimes, it's all about the beads.

Multi-Tasking

It's a skill every mom possesses. I'm not always very good at it.

Multi-tasking.

Yesterday afternoon, I amazed even myself.

I was sitting in my newly painted, just short of AmAzing new office finishing up swaps for convention this week. Simultaneously, while also, at the same time I was able to lead two (2) boys in the important packing of the camp bag. One week at camp requires a ton of stuff. All of the stuff is on a list. Neither of my children could stay on the same item of the list, so I ran two different check off lists.

During the important camp bag packing, I also gave verbal instruction on how to appropriately fold. Simultaneously, while also, at the same time giving the second boy instruction on what to write on his 'don't forget' post it note. Then, they switched, and I did the same thing in reverse. (Please keep hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times during this ride.)

Let me sum up all tasks done yesterday afternoon all at the same time:

1. stamp, staple and assemble 40 swaps

2. pack two (2) boys for camp

3. teach them to fold

4. check off two (2) check lists.... in different order.

5. write important post-it notes

ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

Summer isn't for wimps. You may applaud my super power multi-tasking skills.

Movie Review

Luckily, over the past few weeks, I've been able to see a few of the new summer movies. I really enjoy going to the movies, so I thought I'd just share my feelings about some of these movies. Maybe I can help you decide if you want to see these flicks or not.

Mr. Popper's Penguins: Super cute little film. No bad words or nudity. I went with a group of kids, and they commented that Jim Carrey was a little annoying, but all in all a really nice film with a good story. Has a happy ending, which I totally love.

Bad Teacher: Eh. Maybe skip this one. It was alright. It's pretty raunchy with a few scenes that I had to hide my eyes because I don't need to see that stuff. There's a whole lot of F bombs. Justin Timberlake is 'less than' awesome, which totally upset me, because he's PrissE's secret crush. I really thought I'd enjoy this movie, because I usually enjoy a good comedy. The plot line switches quickly and for no apparent reason. Sadly, the bad stuff goes unpunished, which really upsets my sense of justice. I saw this movie with a group of teachers and we all left feeling mostly the same way.

Cars 2: We hauled the family to the drive in for this one! It's pretty cute! The Looney Toones trailer at the beginning was every one's favorite part! This sequel isn't as good as the original, but we still really enjoyed it. Had a lot of laughs and the kids are still saying some of the quotes from the funny parts. This movie makes us really like Larry the Cable Guy, but don't let your short people watch anything else Larry the Cable Guy does on cable TV. His stand up is strictly the adult variety.

X-Men Original: The second feature at the drive in was the new X-Men movie. I'm not sure of the exact title, but it's the one that's supposed to explain how it all got started. WARNING: There's a F bomb in this movie, and that's pretty much the only thing my kids wanted to talk about when it was over. I'm not a X-Man movie person, and I haven't seen the other X-Man movies, so maybe that handicapped me. YAWN. None of the adults in our group could stay awake for this movie. Kevin Bacon is the bad guy, and he's the best part of the movie! Every time I'd wake up, all the characters were still trying to kill Kevin Bacon and I began to beg to the Movie.... please, let Kevin Bacon's character die! Certainly it will be over soon after he's dead.

I soon began envying all the folks that left the drive in after the first show. They were the smart ones, not me. I say skip this X-Man movie.

Here's my disclaimer: These opinions are only MY opinions, and don't reflect any sort of payment of any kind. We bought all our own tickets with our own money, but if the X-Man people want to send me a refund, I'd take it.

Is it X-Man? or X-Men? What do you call the blue girl? Nah.... Never mind. I don't care.

The summer's not over yet! Happy Movie going!

Summer Discovery

Fox and Mav just completed their first week at Band Camp. Fox plays the trumpet. There's a few stories about that for a later post.

Mav plays the Alto Saxophone. (Just like I did back in the old days..... Or as I like to call them, the '80's.)



Mav just discovered something EXTREMELY COOL about the saxophone. Not as obvious as the sexy saxophone curves and the wicked cool neck strap. Beyond the attractive 'sucking of the reed' and more smooth than that saxophone sound. At band camp, over half of the Alto players are girls.



(This picture snapped just after the cute one on the right asked him, 'Is that your Mom?')

I can't help it! Blog stalkers... my boys are cute! It's not ALL my fault.



Have you met their dad?

More Summer Errands, Updated to Include Children

Summer is rolling right along! There's already been a handful of camps completed and one brief and wonderful weekend trip. (Tulsa, I miss you already!)



We have experienced water parks and restaurants. Professional home cooking and the best of some really giant truck stops. In short, we're just about having the times of our lives, even if I can't figure out how to fit in Driver's Ed.

Today's list of errands included a trip to the eye doctor. Annual check ups don't take very long. Jag will be sporting some glasses soon. Dude can't really see very well. The doctor thought that would become an issue when he starts to drive. (Maybe we should say IF he starts to drive. Remember, we haven't signed up for Driver's Ed yet.) Epic parent fail.

We're in the car, deciding what to have for lunch:

Fox: Mom, can you take us to Hooter's for lunch.

Me: No.

Fox: They have a gift shop.

Me: I'm not taking you to Hooter's.

Fox: They don't have any WAITERS. Only WAITRESSES.

Me: I'm not taking you to Hooter's.

Fox: The chicken there is SOOOO good.

Me: I'm not taking you to Hooter's.

Fox: Why Not?

Me: I don't want the Waitresses to get jealous.

(Car fills with teenage boy laughter.)

We enjoyed Chick-fil-a...... and, nobody had to be jealous.

Two Things

Two things I saw today that I thought were pretty groovy:

1. The new Chick-fil-A has two ordering windows. That's totally groovy! Next, I want the drive up windows at fast food places to be like going to the bank. Maybe I wouldn't be so chubby if I was only allowed to eat what would fit into a canister.

2. The Friday afternoon traffic today was, well..... like a Friday, except hotter and WAY more sweaty. I love that I saw an elderly lady driving her giant gold Cadillac in the Mall parking lot. I especially love that she backed out of her parking spot without looking and went from zero to 40mph in about one second..... which is even more impressive when I tell you she was wearing a patch on her right eye.

Dear Universe, when I grow up, I want to be the type old lady that's not afraid to drive on a Friday afternoon with an eye patch on.

All I needed was a rain jacket.

We are excitedly getting all mooches (read, sweet children) ready for their summer camping and backpacking trips. Jag really needs new rain gear. Let my nightmare begin.

Episode 1:
We are happily purchasing the Bossman new shoes for his birthday at our local Academy Sporting Goods store. We're only there for birthday presents, but Jag has conveniently located a rain jacket that zips up into it's own pocket. After what seemed like hours of begging (really, only a few minutes of teen eye rolling), I finally agree to make the purchase.

We arrive home with our purchases, Jag opens up the jacket to only then find out we just purchased a YOUTH LARGE rain jacket. Not the appropriate size for my giant teen boy. No problem though, Mav can use it.

Episode 2:
We are at a different local sporting goods store, Big 5. We are there to specifically purchase rain gear for the backpacking trip. We locate the gear, make our decisions (checking sizes more carefully), make our purchase and happily leave the store for the 25 minute drive back home.

We arrive home to find out that the package marked, rain jacket and pants, sadly only has rain pants in it, so again... no rain jacket.

Later that evening, I return to the Big 5 sporting goods store and cheerfully return the package and request another package with a jacket as well. They are sold out. They refuse to sell me another similar item at the price I already paid. I think it's reasonable for me to request the similar item at the previously purchased price. The sales associate, not so much. We discuss our differences in opinions for only a brief few minutes, and I leave the store with a refund, but no rain gear.

Really? Big 5, Really? You aren't willing to take a $5 cut in price to retain me as a customer? Really? I purchase countless things every month from a sporting goods store... my money is no good anymore? Really? Your loss. At this time, I must recommend none of you ever shop at any Big 5 store. Their customer service is...... well, lacking.

Episode 3:
I am tired and alone as I shop in the darkness of the night at the Target. A rain jacket must be found. Must be purchased. We've run out of options. Delightful blue poncho will work! Yay!

I present my Target purchase to the teen. He looks at me, says nothing.... I say, 'Here's your rain jacket (really it's a poncho.) You can wear it, a trash bag from the cabinet, or get wet. You're 14 now, make your own choice.'

Jag says, 'It's perfect! This will work great! Thanks Mom!'

Picture perfect Tuesday (for Little)

our fave.....

There are many good uses for buggies.

Ah.... it's summertime, and the livin' is easy!

I really mean that people! Stuff's movin' really slowly around here. We just wear swimsuits and sunscreen most days. The A/C is the only household appliance I care about right now, and you really couldn't get me to put makeup on for very many reasons. It's just that time of the year. Enjoy it!

I still have to run those occasional errands. A quick stop at the grocery, or more frequently at the Walmart. These days, I usually have my posse with me, and I've noticed one really weird thing. I can't quite figure it out.....

Why do the children walk right in front of you? Why do they walk really fast, until they step right in front of you and then they either stop completely, or slow down? Why? Any thoughts?

There are two possible major safety problems with children walking in front of me.

Number 1: If it's a small child, he(or she) will get completely crushed.
Number 2: If it's a bigger child, the teenager(or pre-teen) will completely crush me, in a weird banging way, that hurts all my joints. (I can't tell you how I already know this.)

I'm just a regular mom people, I can't take very many more of these banging incidents. I'm gonna wear out early. I need a solution.

So, I started to make good use of the buggy.

That's all you really need to know.... there are many good uses for buggies. There. I helped you today.

You're welcome.

This is my dog....

Hi Dodge!




Even Dodge loves summer.

Summer Breeze

Makes me feel.....





This flowering tree is one of my favorite things about summer. It's time for some blog participation..... what are your favorite things about summer?

Not every word, you should of heard.

Today, I heard some words. Some words I have heard before, because I'm a grown up, and I've heard some bad stuff in my life. Today, I heard some words come out of a teenager's mouth..... well, it shocked me! Really? It shocked us all! PrissE was stunned!

Some dumb kid (I would totally name him, if I knew him, because I'm sure his mother would like to know all about his words) at the pool today, yelled, hollered, even thought he was hysterical.... some really bad words.

PrissE yelled, 'Hey!! Watch your language!'

I yelled, 'Hey!! There's no reason to talk like that, there are little kids around here!'

Little said, 'I didn't hear the bad words.'

Then, I looked at PrissE, and she asked the dumb kid if he would like to explain to Little's father why she knew those words, and he said no.

Then, the kid swam off.

Yep, it's summer. We're at the pool a lot. Y'all can relax, we're parenting most of your children that have the poor judgement to swim close enough to our chairs to be heard. It's just a matter of safety.

Oh, and a word to the wise.... y'all don't be kickin' PrissE in the nose, it makes her throw up.

Word.

My Joy!!

Who knew that Northeastern U.S. winters would befall us unsuspecting, and summer-loving, West Texas folk?!  Well, maybe the meteorologists knew....and maybe those who faithfully read The Farmer's Almanac....and possibly anyone who pays any attention to the weather trends & forecasts....which obviously isn't me.  

I was completely blindsided by this "once a week EVERY BLOOMING week since November" winter/blizzard/freezing-my-honey-buns-off weather!    

However--and this is just how I roll, always looking for that silver lining--today was absolutely B-E-A-UTIFUL!  Scroll down and be mesmerized by my latest photo essay capturing "My Joy!"

This is the view from inside MY CAR!!!  That's right, people...today was a "put the top down" day!!

Check out this season's newest addition to my expansive Flip-Flop Collection.....and, get a load of that wonderfully artistic and freshly painted pedi!!

Also, get a load of the SHORT SLEEVES and CROPPED PANTS!!!  That, my friends is one step closer to my favorite outfit of all.....my SWIMSUIT!!  Coincidentally, I happened to purchase a new one today....

AND HERE IT IS!!!  It won't be the only one I wear this summer, but THIS is the suit that begins my slide into paradise...at the Bahamas in Wolfforth!  And how 'bout this cutie-patootie new swim cover?  Look at it's precious knotted details on the shoulders....I DID THAT!

Finally, at 2:54 this afternoon, it was a lovely balmy 74 degrees outside!  It's like the Minnesota winter has but a bad dream and the pleasant peacefulness & bliss of Hawaii has overtaken this dusty West Texas town...simply pure joy.  

However, jolting me back to the reality that this Wednesday we'll be dipping back down into the 50's was this most unsuspecting find in my car--one snowboot via my sweet Big, wonder where the other boot is.....STUPID WINTER!  Why must you rupture EVERY week of our lovely weather like an oozing pustule on the face of our beautiful and sunny days!?

Oh, mon frer.....NOT to worry!!!  By Thursday, we'll be back on the temperature climb to that perfect West Texas Hawaiian weather!  See you in the sunshine!