The Easter Hazing Project

AKA: the dude’s first Easter with us, and he didn’t color eggs….. whatever!

It’s time for all blog stalkers to meet the dude.



Recently, my sister got all engaged and stuff….. to this dude. He’s got this big giant brain that matches up all nicely with my sister’s big giant brain. Dude has flashes of normal about him that are so delightful! I truly, nearly passed out cold when I found out Dude is teaching my sister all about baseball! Don’t tell them, but we think this Dude is pretty fun. For the record, we decided that WAY before we knew he was a big, giant Texas Rangers fan!



EVERY Easter, and I do mean EVERY SINGLE EASTER since I was born, we have colored Easter eggs. No exceptions. Egg coloring is a big deal in our family. So, you can imagine my surprise when we all show up at the appointed egg coloring time to find out that the new Dude isn’t coming.

SHWHhaaatt???

Alright, initial shock is over, egg coloring begins. Normal stuff is happening…. Fox is coloring all his eggs yellow, AGAIN! Just like he’s done almost every year since the boy was two years old. Task became a little more difficult when Bossman dumped a whole bowl of yellow egg dye on the left leg of my FAVORITE jeans. Luckily, we have multiple bowls of all colors. Score one for Maw-Maw.



I’m not sure how it all happened, but a conversation was started about the Dude. It was decided that for the Dude’s first Easter egg hunt, he would have a crude initiation into the family. A plan was hatched.

The Dude would be required to hunt for the two eggs that have his name on them. Dude would have to do the hunting while blindfolded. Dude’s only helper would be Jag, who would tell him which direction to go using only ‘hot’ or ‘cold’ directions. Which is totally even more funny when you get the background story that Jag doesn’t get what ‘hot’ or ‘cold’ directions even mean, so he’s likely to give them backwards for the first half hour of the blindfolded hunt. Remember, I said it was going to be a crude initiation?

Everyone thought this idea was super great, and we laughed and laughed!

We were all still laughing the next day when Jag presents the Dude with a dirty old handkerchief that he’s expected to use for his blindfold. Tall tales were told…. Many stories exaggerated…. Way more hyperbolic than normal. (At this time, I would like full credit for using my sister’s vocabulary word in a blog post.)

Ha, Ha, Ha! We didn’t blindfold the Dude and make him hunt eggs. However, Dude was the victim of the first aerial confetti egg assault.


Don’t worry Dude, you’re in. Just don’t miss another egg coloring event.

Muffins with Mom

Today started out in the best possible way.



Here's the story. Last week, PrissE was all dramatic and serious when she asked me for a 'GIANT' favor. It'd be alright if I said No, because this was a really 'BIG' favor. Twenty-bazillion weird ideas were rolling through my crazy brain! I started getting a little concerned about what PrissE was going to ask me to do!

"Would you be able to go next week to 'Muffins with Mom' at Little's school? I'm gonna be out of town that day, and so is Oma. Little is so disappointed that I can't go. I didn't tell her you'd go! I just thought I'd ask."

Whew! Really? That's it? Sure! I can go!

Then, I started the preparations. I called Little to ask what she was wearing. She said I should wear a flower in my hair. So, I started coordinating outfits that would be appropriate with flowers.

Many a text was sent back and forth in the days leading up to Muffins. I started to get even more excited! I went shopping and bought matching flowers for our hair. I went to bed early the night before, and set my alarm to get up a few minutes early, so I'd have plenty of time to get ready.

The morning of Muffins, I woke up early. I got ready excitedly, changing my outfit no less than THREE (3) times before settling on the right combination of turquoise-flowers-rhinestones-sparkly shoes. I dropped my own boys at school early, so I'd have time to drive to Little's school and park, because Little goes to big town school, where there's more than 15 cars in a real parking lot with actual signs and marked parking spaces.

I parked appropriately and dashed into the school building, got directions to the cafeteria, and eventually found Little. Then, something funny happened. She looked surprised to see me!

"Hey Little! I'm here! Is it too late for muffins?"

She smiled, showed me her classroom, I met her teacher, then hustled down to the cafeteria for the Muffins. Funny enough, Little had already had one round of muffins, but since I was there, she showed me the procedure for getting food, and had a second breakfast.

We selected Muffins, and sat at the table to eat. She was being uncharacteristically quiet and a little weird.(You know, even for Little.) I asked her what was up? She just smiled at me and said, "I've missed you."

OK, could you please put my heart back into my chest now?

I've missed you too Little!

Hug. Hug. Hug. Happy. Happy. Happy.

I took this picture of her.



She took this picture of me.




EVERYONE at school thought I was her Aunt, you know, because we have the same hair color, and have similar sassy characteristics. (Like doing the robot during teacher instruction.) At first, I wanted to tell them all I was her 'big sister' because that's all funny on a new level, and that makes PrissE like 20 years or so older than she really is.

I didn't tell any fibs about how we're related. I just told the truth, 'We're best friends.'

Then, someone said, "Well, you look like you go together."



I guess that's the best thing about me and Little. We go together.

It's Your Birthday!!

Hi Mom!

Happy Birthday to you!

Thankful.

I love this picture.

Look at those two women! They could be any two anonymous women bustling down the big city sidewalk of any great place, on their way to grand adventures in New York, Chicago..... anywhere.

So, you won't be surprised to find out that they're in Amarillo, Texas. That's my Grandmother on the right and my Aunt on the left. My Aunt Oleta worked at a department store downtown in Amarillo for a lot of years. I figure that's where they're going to or coming from when the newspaper snapped this photo.

I love their hats and coats, their tiny clutch purses, the nylons they're wearing. I love the fact that my grandmother is wearing her 'driving gloves'. She always wore them. I can remember sitting in the backseat of her old blue car, (sans seat belts) and watching her drive through the streets of Amarillo in her driving gloves. She would point out landmarks, talk to me, and always, always held the screw on the top of the car when we passed under railroad bridges. My grandmother also showed me the girdles and other 'old time' undergarments they wore, and knowing about all that, I can't believe the smiles on their faces.

I'm thankful for the women in my life.

My grandmother told me a story one time about a lesson she had learned. Many years earlier, she had been approached by a lady at church. That lady had 'informed' my grandmother that the hem on my grandmother's skirts was too short.

Can you imagine the nerve of that church lady? I can't. I was insulted for my grandmother, who just laughed when she told me the rest of the story. She told me that she never got mad at that church lady. She went home that afternoon and lowered the hem of every skirt in her closet one inch.

Why, I asked? Why would you indulge a person like that? A busy body, know-it-all, that had no business telling other ladies what to do. Why would you do that and give her the satisfaction?

My grandmother told me that she knew her hem wasn't too short. She added that she didn't care about the hem of any skirt. If it was one inch higher or one inch lower, it didn't matter to her. My grandmother didn't want to be the one that got in the way of that lady learning about Jesus. If that busy body church lady was so concerned with my grandmother's skirt hem, then that lady might miss the chance to learn about God.

My grandmother was funny. She said, 'I'm not getting in the middle of that!' (Eyebrow raised, smirk on her face.)

Today (and everyday), I'm thankful for the women in my life.

Now, it's time for an open forum.... post your replies, let's hear what you're thankful for, and I don't want to hear anything about turkey.

Save the Date!

Meet my future Daughter-in-Law, Little.





She is smart, beautiful and knows what she wants and how to articulate it.

SCENE: (any beautiful summer day at the pool)

Mav: Hey Jag, Little is telling everyone you're her boyfriend again.

Jag: What? I thought she broke up with me.

Mav: (laughing) I guess not.

Later.....

Jag: Hey Little, I thought you broke up with me, so Fox could be your boyfriend.

Fox: I'm not her boyfriend.

Little: (raises eyebrow, eats sour punch candy and shrugs her shoulders)

Mav: I'm not her boyfriend.

Jag: Little, I'm NOT your boyfriend.

Little: You are if I say you are.




** end SCENE **

I think that about sums it up.

PrissE and I are planning an ocean side wedding.... probably early summer, 2030.

Save the date.

Everything you never wanted to know.

Sometimes I wonder.... have I always been like this?

Let's start with the easy questions.

Sassy, have you always enjoyed ice cream?



Why, YES! I certainly have!! Also? My little children love ice cream!



I scream, You scream, we ALL scream for ice cream!!!

Sassy, have you always talked on the phone a lot?



Why, YES! I always have.... sometimes while drinking heavily. Obviously, I'm a gifted drinker. Keep your comments to yourself.



I can also talk on the phone while eating delicious chocolate cake!



Ah... cake, cake, glorious cake!

Sassy, have you always enjoyed the changing of the seasons?



Why, YES! I always have!! The fall pumpkins are nice, but I have always enjoyed a sassy little spring bonnet.



If I had to pick ONE season that has always been my absolute favorite, it would have to be SUMMER! (That's me in the bikini.)



Oh, beloved summer... why does thou forsake me every year? You leave just when I need you most, and certainly, you take your time showing up again. Oh, how I love thee.

Sassy, have you always enjoyed a good laugh? a broad smile? and a good hearty chuckle?



YES! I certainly have! I think it runs in the family....

Monday Morning Randomography

Good morning! It's Monday! I've got some random thoughts that I know you're interested in. So, here goes....

1. Under the catagory, Keeping You Safe: If you are driving in the fog, please turn on some sort of headlights. Hello? If I can't see the street signs, then I also can't see you!

2. Captain and Tenille on your Ipod just makes good sense. Try it, Love will keep us together......

3. When you are singing to yourself at the Walmart, and you round the corner at the end of the laundry soap aisle and get startled by the talking tv machine selling Tide, don't jump and laugh. The other moms in the Walmart will be on to you! If this does happen to you, the jig is up! You might as well sing loudly and talk to the chips, no one will care now. I also found out lots of people like the Captain and Tenille.

4. I love decorating for Halloween! So do my little mooches. If you'd like to drive your little mooches completely insane, put a cute LARGE Halloween candy bowl out, but leave it empty for 2 days. I was asked about 3 times per hour per day, 'what are we gonna put in that jar?' You should always reply, 'Nothing, it's just for decoration.'

5. It's FALL! Obviously, that means it's time for the fall hair do. Check it out:



It's pretty, right? And, very fall-ish. That's my cutie pie husband, the Bossman. We've been married a long time. He looks older than me, right?

6. Which brings me to a random conversation in the car yesterday. Jag was reading a flyer from church with information regarding a ski trip. The dates of the trip collide with our 20 year Wedding Anniversary. Jag was telling me to pay the deposits, and I just said, 'I don't know if you'll go this year or not. That's our 20 year Anniversary.' Out of nowhere, Fox replies, '20 Years huh, well that's pretty good. I bet no one thought you'd last that long.' What??

7. Why do pretzel goldfish taste so much better than regular pretzels? or regular goldfish?

8. SNOT. I hate it.

9. Warm brownies and milk. I love it!

I hope everyone enjoys Monday! It's a random day, soak it in....

Guess what shoes I'm wearing?

Please, take a moment and gaze on a beautiful sight.

This is PrissE's beautiful foot, in what may be the absolute coolest shoe of the season! PrissE is lucky. Her foot is normal size and shape. My foot? Not so much.

About this time last year, I found this pair of shoes on a website and immediately ordered them. I couldn't believe my luck! Finally, after all these years, big shoe heals with holes in the side have come back into style! I waited anxiously for them to arrive, dreaming of every Sunday morning, when I would wear them to church and show my mother. You see, a few years ago, when I was but a wee teen, I BEGGED, bargained, whined and pleaded for this type of shoe. My mother was stead fast in her denial. I was 'too young' to have a heal that high, it was 'inappropriate' for a girl of my age, I wasn't going to get them, no amount of pleading or begging swayed my mother. I never had a pair of shoes like that as a teen, and yet I never forgot.

Then, one beautiful, sunny day the handsome UPS man brought the box of shoes to my front door! I ripped it open and jammed one on my foot, only to discover.....a nightmare beyond imagination.... my foot is too fat for them.... the pinkie toe, she hung off the side, in between the straps. I have made fun of many a person wearing sandals with a wrong fit, and my friends... pinkie toes hanging off the side cannot be disguised! OH! The agony!!

As it turns out, one person's agony is another person's delight! There are tons of things PrissE and I have in common. Among these things? The same size foot. GREAT! PrissE offers to try them on, and if they fit her, she'll keep them. Guess what? They fit her, and she kept them.... don't get me wrong... she paid me for them, so they are legally HER awesome shoes now. So guess what people.... just because you and your friend both wear a normal size 8, doesn't mean you can both wear the same shoes. PrissE's foot is long and slender.... my foot? More of a square shape.

Every time she wears them, she calls me.... 'Guess what shoes I'm wearing?' I always say, 'Crap, take off my shoes! Damn these fat feet!'

We learn lessons every day. Today's lesson? If your mother says that shoe is inappropriate for your foot, she's probably right, but you NEVER have to admit it!

Wear those shoes PrissE!! Wear them everyday, but if you see my mother, don't tell her I bought them.

Not Ready for Prime Time Players at Sassy's House

It's time for me to announce my cast of characters! I am horrible at thinking up 'nick names', so I asked my delightful husband what he would like to be nick named for the blog. His reply, 'Mr. Everything'.... I just said ok, but obviously, that's not going to happen. Here we go:

My delightful husband: the Bossman.
My three teen age/pre teen boys: Jag, Fox & Mav. The latter two are twins, so sometimes they might be referred to as 'the bubs'. Just because, that's why.... also? We've been calling them 'the bubs' since they were born.

Ok, get the obvious out of the way:
No, they aren't identical.
Yes, they are natural (as natural as it can be to have two living human beings growing inside you at one time.)
Ha! Ha! Yes, I'm glad it's me and not you!

There, don't you all just feel so much better? I know I feel better!

Hello Life? Give me some good material to blog about! Until then, thanks for checking in!