Many Different Things.

Oh yeah, I know it's just another name for random. Deal with it.

Two days ago, my dryer broke. We can still use it, but it never stops, and then burns up clothes. So, we're only using it on clothes we don't like. We're not using it. Tomorrow, I'm getting a new one.

We were driving in the car last week, when out of the clear blue sky, Mav asks a question. 'Mom, if me and Fox would have been born at different hospitals, would we still be twins?'

My friend, Rhonda, from another state, will be in my town on the exact same days I'll be in another state. Not funny.

I got a haircut this week. My only request was to make my hair 'less hot'. It's shorter now.

I'm coordinating 'outfits' for a trip in a couple of weeks. My sister hates 'outfits'. I think that makes me like 'outfits' more. I need more jewelry.

Jag came home last night from a few days with Maw-Maw. His first question to me was, 'Did you get spray tanned?'

The rain makes me sleepy.

Summer is fun!

Just an FYI......and No. I'm not jealous.

Here's a little "free advice," from me to you--a little FYI, if you will.

Ladies (and men who choose to.....well, you know who you are),
Let me bend your ear regarding your fashion choices.

If your dress is so short that, as you walk out onto the stage of the David Letterman Show, you have to hold onto it and pull it down as you walk, perhaps--and I'm just going out on a limb here--perhaps your dress is a titch TOO SHORT!


Also, if you are unable to even walk like homosapien erectus (that's 'human being' for all of you who can't do Rocket-Cereal Science like I...) while entering the David Letterman Show stage due to the fact that your stilettos are approximately 3-5 inches shy of sending you "ass over tea-kettle" (as my sweet Granny--in her Alzheimer years--used to say), perhaps you might want to invest in a lovely pair of BALLET FLATS!

Consider this a simple Safety Advisory...me saving you from sharing your "naughties" with the general North American viewing public while in the process of making the bloopers reel via the tumble you take thanks to the body-bucking stilettos your scooting across that stage.  No thanks necessary, SweetPea...it's my job.

P.S. Good luck with that whole 'sports' thing you've got going......

Briefly....

A little bit of random.

Briefly today, I understood why people become teachers. I enjoyed it for a moment, then it passed.

Today I understood shortcomings are not failures.

I had a light bulb moment today. Then, someone turned the switch off.

Mav asked me to take a picture of his ear....



so I did.

The official first day of spring is March 20th.

Please hurry.

Randomography

My brain is going in 10 different directions right now, so it seems like a perfect time for a Randomography Post. Get ready!

Have you ever wondered, 'How did I get here?'

Just when I'm beginning to wonder if there's anything LESS enjoyable than spending the day with a group of 9 year olds, I have a conversation like this:

Manuel: How old are you?
Me: How old do you think I am?
Manuel: Are you over 19?
Me: Yes, Manuel I'm over 19. Are you over 19?
Manuel (laughing): You know I'm not over 19 yet.
Me: Maybe not, but you will be soon. Why do you want to know how old I am?
Manuel: I was just wondering, because we're friends, and I need to know how old my friends are.
Me: Manuel, that's so nice! I like it that we're friends.
Manuel: Me too. Do you think we'll still be friends when I'm over 19 too?
Me: Yes Manuel, I'm pretty sure we'll still be friends when you're over 19 too.

The rest of the day was so nice! Thank you 3rd grade!

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Recently, Mav had the opportunity to select some new glasses frames. He finally selects a wonderful metallic blue pair, not too flashy, but super cool. He's admiring himself in the mirror at the doctor's office, with Jag close by.

Mav: Do you like my new frames? I think they make me look sexy.
Jag: Sure, they're pretty cool, but I don't think they make you look sexy.
Mav: I think they do. (Strikes a pose in the eye doctor's office.)
Jag: Hey Mav, trust me on this one. You don't want to be looking sexy yet. I just had my first date this year (8th grade) and from what I've learned, girls are a lot of trouble.

********************************************************************************

So, how did I get here? How did I get to the middle of this laundry pile? Actually, the middle of the pile is not so bad, it's the bottom that smells. I have decided that the worst smell in my laundry room is lamb poop. I also don't know why the only days my kids actually leave things in their pockets are the same days I don't check the pockets. A pocket full of Hershey kisses is wonderful in every way, except when those pockets are exiting the dryer.

********************************************************************************

Long, long ago, when I actually was 19, I never imagined there was a difference in the smells of poop. I wouldn't have guessed that someday I would be able to distinguish the subtle differences between lamb poop, goat poop, dog poop, pig poop and people poop. Now, I can tell you what poop is in my laundry room immediately upon entering my house. That's like 12 feet away and down the hall! So, I'm sort of a poop smelling super hero or something. That's not the super power I would have imagined myself having back when I was 19.

*********************************************************************************

How did I get here? Does it really matter?

Here's what I know today: I'm over 19. I'm really good at doing laundry, and my sense of smell is sharper than ever. If you are ever lucky enough to have a pocket full of Hershey Kisses, then you should eat them all! One of my kids wears glasses like me, and we both look sexy when we wear them.

Random Sevens

Have you ever read another blog and loved the idea?

I like the number 3. I have three boys.

There's this one:



There's that one:



And, of course the other one:



Because this blog post is all about random sevens, I'll go ahead and tell you they all used to be smaller:



And, before that, they were even smaller:



Before that, I really don't remember much, because I wasn't a very good mommy way back then, so I choose to forget those parts. Okay, not totally forget, but certainly don't blog about. I like to enjoy our boys today. They're way more fun now than then, and that's okay too.



Sometimes I make a really cool project, and I like to share it:



I love to scrapbook, so I love to share those projects the best of all. I think that's seven! Seven of my favorite pictures. That's random. That's seven. Happy Saturday!

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"All I needed was a Black Shirt, y'all!"--A Photo Essay

All I needed was a black shirt, okay, y'all?!  Did you know that most self-respecting clothing stores don't open until 10:00AM?  I suppose that's because most self-respecting, self-proclaimed Trophy Wives don't get their spackle and paint on and their hair Aquanetted appropriately until around 9:45AM...

So, today, I was no typical Trophy Wife!  As I was up, spackled, painted, shellacked, and dressed, by 7:00AM, and as soon as I slowed down to 30 and kicked the kids outta the car in the carpool line from hell, I was off to shop!  That perfect black blouse wouldn't buy itself and make its way to my closet without a little help from me, after all!

But, like I said, no self-respecting clothing store is open before 10:00AM.  This, my friends, would lead to, what some of my close friends and family (attorney) have labeled, "PrissE's near-terroristic actions that could merit a visit to the Homeland Security Offices."  To me, I was simply involved in my first photo-journalistic-Mathew Brady (he was a famous photojournalist during the Civil War, y'all) endeavor.  Below are the fruits of my labor (hope I don't become alcoholic and die penniless after this shopping spree is over--you know, like Mathew Brady did after the Civil War)...complete with my signature observations.

I was just a "young-un" when Lee introduced it's revolutionary "Press-On-Nail," totally making the Hollywood-glamour-salon experience available to every housewife and career woman in the world--thank you, Lee.  Then came the stampede of Asian-owned nail salons where they can "do nail fo you...no, not zebra...I do tiga stripe fo you.  You wait 20 minute...I do nail fo you"--again, thank you, Asian salons that I frequent every 2 weeks without fail.  But, seriously, y'all!  How necessary is this, I ask you???

Gurl!  When you find someone with a cute hair cut, and they are real-life people, you gotta getta pic!  Isn't that why cell phones have cameras?

Okay, y'all.  Let the nostalgia rain down!  Y'all remember learning to read with that down-home, Ozzy & Harriet-goody-two-shoes-type pair of siblings.  Well, now we can pass on to our children the tradition of learning to read primer-style with our favorite brother-sister pair (no, not Donny & Marie, y'all!), DICK & JANE!  Also, I think, like I, you'll be glad to see that the publishing company has updated the stories from this timeless, dynamic duo by promoting multi-cultural literature...I'm just not so sure that Dick's & Jane's mom really had a good grip on what her two sweet spawn were really "experiencing!"

Well, well, well...lookie here!  All you could ever want to know, that you don't really have to know, right next to ALL you need to know--and on ONE shelf, even!

Always and forever the avid reader and encourager of the literate, I just thought I'd pay a little homage to one of my new BFF's!  Sassy, Jen Lancaster, PrissE & Celia--BFF's!  It's just like looking in a mirror, y'all!  P.S. If you live in Texas, or anywhere in the South (and, yes, I do know that TX is not "technically" considered a "Southern" state--but a Southwestern state--but, y'all, I taught history.  We are located on the South edge of the United States, okay?!), any book by Celia Rivenbark should be sitting right beside your Holy Bible--moment of silence to honor Jesus...Amen--and should be the second thing you read every morning as a part of your daily devotional...I'm just sayin'!

Aren't they cute?  Taco Tuesdays at Rosa's still means something!  And I'm here to tell y'all, I was there before this couple sat down, and I was there when they left...and they did NOT have to share "the teeth!"  I hope Mr. Analytical and I are just as blessed when we are their age!

You know, at some point in this post, I have to get on my soap box.  And, for this one, you're gonna have to squint, crane your neck toward the computer screen, all while wearing your glasses and saying, "I don't know.  I just don't see...oh, wait.  Yep!  There it is!  That sorry redneck!"  Please notice that this is a shortbed-short wheel-base pick-up, AND THE DRIVER COULDN'T EVEN GET IT TO FIT IN IT'S OWN PARKING SPOT!!  It's straddling the line!!!  You might wonder why this was such a sinful act to me.  Well, just down this very row, to your right (sorry, y'all.  I was so bumfuzzled that I forgot to take a pic), is a 4-door, 1/2 ton, long wheel-base pick-up that is not only parked almost solidly twixt the two yellow lines, but it's sandwiched in between my cute little ladybug and another compact car!  I promise, I was so mad that, if I hadn't lost about 25 lbs. over the course of the last three months and subsequently become a demure and petite little thing, my endorphins were raging so hard I could've picked up that "honey I shrunk my truck" excuse for a vehicle with my bare hands and put it in it's own spot, y'all!  IF YOU CAN'T PARK IT, DON'T DRIVE IT!

What in the #$%% does this mean, anyway?  I'm an expectant mother...when my kids are away from me at any given time of day, I always expect them back!  But just try telling that to the people in the parking lot who stare at ya when you're getting out or in your car, y'all...Don't look at me with your judgment!  You're just jealous because I got the spot first!

I'm thinking of writing a Coffee Table book titled, "Money on the Run" (A.K.A. How many ATMs can I photograph before someone alerts Homeland Security and I'm apprehended and put in prison with a giant, mean, and totally broke fallen-finance mogul or terrorist who thinks I might actually be "casing the joints" for future financial "acquisitions?"  I'm just wondering...cause I got three really great pics of this ATM while a city employee was parked and standing beside his city vehicle, no lie, less than 30 feet from me!)

  

Things to which I am NOT opposed...

The following is a list of random situations that, as I go through my 'day-to-day,' I just happened to notice...I imagine that you, too, often find yourself saying, "You know, I'm not opposed to............."

I am NOT opposed to:

1.  Busting out in a serenade of love in the middle of the grocery store when I discover that they now, after 12 years of begging, carry my FAVE brand of deodorant!  P.S.  Every one in my carpool is singing a new song as well!

2.  Appropriate and properly implemented customer service skills...i.e. If you'd like to give me a lesson on 'how to correctly order my favorite coffee drink' that I've been ordering for 5+ years, THEN DON'T GIVE ME THE WRONG DRINK WHEN I JUST ORDERED IT FLAWLESSLY USING MY NEWLY ACQUIRED 'CORRECT ORDERING' SKILLS VIA YOUR INSTRUCTION!!

3.  Dollar stores that DON'T smell like a dollar bill that's been wadded up an stuffed in the back pocket of the Feed Lot manager's waders for a month!  You sell Febreeze!  Use it!

4.  Shock collars equipped with the in-ground sensors for kindergarten.  If you've ever volunteered/worked in/subbed in/or have one, you know what I'm talking about!

5.  Being forced to slam on my brakes because you've decided to move into my lane (A.K.A CUT ME OFF!) a little too closely to the front end of my car so that you could make a right hand turn into the parking lot of Rosa's Tortilla Factory...ONLY to decide at the absolute last possible moment that you don't want to turn into aforementioned parking lot!  It's Rosa's!!  It's the ONLY thing in the middle of the blooming field!  You couldn't decide PRIOR to running me off the road that you actually DON'T want a bean-n-cheese burrito with a side of queso and chips and an order of 1 dozen tortillas to take home????  By the way, I have your plate number, AND I know the make and model of your vehicle...AND I'M OFF MY ROAD RAGE MEDS!!!

6.  Telling a policeman--through the rolled up window of my moving car--"NO!  I will NOT drive through the RED light, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOG, just because you're waving me through an intersection where traffic coming perpendicular to me has a GREEN light!"  Did I mention that this was IN THE FOG!???

7.  New traffic lights that function properly and safely.  Yes, I'm talking to you TXDOT...if you install a traffic light and leave it as a blinking intersection light for a random number of months, then suddenly decide to activate the light--at random times of day--it might behoove you to inform the public!  Especially since this light affects a major roadway and Starbucks!  Have you tried to pull out of Starbucks during morning rush when you have no idea what to expect from said light?!

8.  Writing letters to my government officials--whether local, state or federal--in order to inform them of my decisions involving the governing of our society.  I also write letters to businesses that my input may benefit (hence the current in-progress development of the series "Don't Patronize Me").

.....It seems as though at least half of my UNopposed issues deal with traffic/vehicular situations...perhaps a letter to TXDOT is in order.