Holy Nosebleed, Batman!!

So, it's 7:59 AM on a lovely sunny morning.....AND I'M AWAKE AND UP!!!

Why?  You ask, was PrissE awake at 7:59 AM......Yes.  All Queens of the Universe should be asleep at such an absurdly profane time of morning!!  5:13 AM.  Me.  Snoozing ever so pleasantly.  5:14 AM.  Me.  Searing pain radiating from my nose.  Head spinning.  Dry-heaving.  Red, icky stuff running from the searing pain place on the center of my face........WTH?!?!

Apparently, Mr. A (and today maybe the 'A' doesn't stand for 'analytical'), rolled over, threw an elbow, and caught me squarely on the right side of my nose.  And....we all know what happens to fragile PrissE when she sustains a blow to the preciously petite nose!

Side Story:  long, long ago...in a much different world...our dear PrissE peered into a mirror to admire her newly acquired leotard for her first ever gymnastics exhibition meet.  Our dear PrissE, even at the tender age of only 6, was quite a tumbling vision to behold in the bathroom counter mirror when, to her horror, she went tumbling into the bathtub on whose side she'd been standing to be tall enough to peer into yon bathroom counter mirror!!  Aesop might say that it is not prudent to wear tights with one's new leotard if one is going to stand on the side of the slippery bathtub.  One might slip into the tub and bang one's lovely petite nose on the tub faucet, forever after being completely intolerant of even the slightest graze to one's button nose!!  

5:16ish AM (give or take a few minutes....my vision was still a touch blurry, so I couldn't read the clock in the kitchen so well), I'm administering my own first aid:  frozen water bottle wrapped in a dish towel, some Tylenol, and a box of tissue to stuff up my nose.  It really wasn't a big deal.  It only took about an hour for the bleeding to completely stop....maybe that's just me being a touch 'dramatic'.....wanting the bleeding to 'completely' stop and all.....

Mr. A??  Where was he in all of this (especially since medical aid IS his field of expertise)??  Soundly and fast asleep.  Me??  On the couch, holding a frozen-dish-towel-wrapped-water-bottle to my nose, and shoving Puffs Plus up my nostril!  Note to self--when needing tissue to stuff up self's nose in order to stop bleeding, Puffs Plus with Menthol is NOT recommended.

Me + Tragic Accident = Tiiiiiiiinnnnyyy Bruise.  

Me + Sleeping Dog Who I Let Lie Even Though He Threw an Elbow and Caught Me in the Face = Stuffy Nose, Slight Headache, and NOT A MARK ON ME!!!!!  WHAT I GOTTA DO TO LOOK A VICTIM?!?!

Swimming Today!!!  *fingers crossed!!*

Picture perfect Tuesday (for Little)

our fave.....

He was almost a FIRECRACKER!

Tomorrow is the Bossman's Birthday.



Happy Birthday Honey!

Did You Know...

The lazy dog-days of summer.......aaaaahhhhh.  Sleeping late, no make-up/hair to do, swim-suits and flip-flops are my primary wardrobe pieces, the most pressing errand I have is to be at the pool by 1:00, and my perfume of choice:  Hawaiian Tropic SPF 12.  This is the life!

But don't let my life of leisure fool you.  The 'ole gray matter' gets quite a workout on a daily basis with a little deep-end-dunk Foxy and I like to call, 'Did You Know.'

These life-changing and intellectually-enhancing facts are brought to you by the Hot Tamales best known as "SPF 150!"  Our IQ's are OFF THE CHARTS, baby!  We are the 'thinkers of today and doers of tomorrow!'.....all while floating on our boogie-boards in the 10ft deep end of the Pool!

Bio & Physical Science:
Foxy:  Did you know that the skin of a grown man weighs about 10 pounds?
PrissE:  Did you know that the human brain weighs approximately 8 pounds?
Foxy:  Did you know that gum was used to treat the flu?


Math:
Fox:  Did you know that if a nucleus was the size of an orange, there would 4 miles of empty space?
PrissE:  Did you know that 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321?  (oh, yeah.  that's from the babe who's too pretty to do math!)

Animals:
PrissE:  Did you know that all porcupines float?
PrissE:  Did you know that horses can't vomit & pigs can't look up in the sky?

People:
Fox:  Did you know that Santa Anna first invented the flavor spearmint?


Random:
Fox:  Did you know that grass has small flowers on it?
PrissE:  Did you know that "trapping flowers" really are carnivores?
Knowledge IS power!!

Summer Trauma

It's been raining for two days.



This picture is proof.

I know, we need the rain. It's good for the earth. The farmer. The crops. I get it.

Rain is not good for swimming.

Oddly enough, the rain is not the summer trauma I'm talking about right now. (Well, not the only trauma.)

We've been watching the World Cup. USA lost. They played a great game! We loved every minute of it! We cheered from the couch! We never gave up! Just like team USA! I'm so proud. But, we lost.

To top it off, the 'powers that be' over at Dish Network decided today that the FREE HBO preview would end. No warning. Nothing. Just no more HBO.

Picture this.....

The boys all standing at the front door, watching the rain in their swim suits.... disbelief all over their faces. It rained yesterday mom.... two days of rain? During summer? It's too much. They change into regular clothes and switch on the TV.... long. dramatic. pause....... then hysteria!!!

MOM! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE HBO?!?!?!?

Trauma always comes in three's.

Sadness From the "Pit of My Swimming & Tanned Soul"

Vitamin D is a most excellent vitamin!  Probably my most favorite vitamin of all.

Tan is fastly becoming one of my favorite colors...and yes, it's a color, not just a 'neutral' anymore.  It's the color of my luscious sun-kissed skin during the summer time, provided to me by my favorite vitamin of all.


This past Friday (3-days from the date of this photo), I washed my car!  Always within 3 days of washing my car..........................

This week, my vitamin D intake has been sorely interrupted for 2 days!...........
Oh, the GLOOM!  The DISPAIR!  The AGONY!


I know rain is good...I live in a farming region!  But too much is just TOO much!!!

Where's my sunshine?  Where's my precious Vitamin D...my summer life's elixir?!



I'm saddened beyond belief today!  I can't seem to pull myself out of this horrible, sunless, tanless, pool-less quagmire of despair!  Oh the tears I shed today!!


Why did Big & Little have to pick this week to get in trouble and get grounded!?!

I'm stuck inside the house with the misbehaving & restricted children!!!

SUNSHINE....DELIVER ME!!!

Today, I Did Not......

It's summer time and there are many things that my family, friends, and I do every day.  Some things are fun, some things are beneficial to us and others, and some things just have to be done.

 But today, there are tons of things that I DID NOT do!

Today, I did not..........

1.  fix my 6 yr. old bossy-whiney-Little breakfast after she said to my multiple suggestions, "I don't want that for breakfast!" and "Fruit is NOT breakfast food!"---I did, however, offer to once again show her the photos of the starving children in Africa online....she respectfully declined.

2.  offer my free dental advice and expertise to a strange man at the pool today....and that took almost all the restraint I had!

3.  design my 'Mother' under-the-boob-tattoo that seems to be "all the rage" among the strange adults at the pool today.

4.  ask the strange grown man playing with oodles & skads of children he didn't even know if he was in violation of any registered pedophile laws.....and that took the rest of my restraint.

5.  drown any children who, while innocently and joyously splashing about or playing at the pool, kicked me/jumped on me/bumped me/elbowed me /or asked me the same question 62 times.  You're welcome, CPS & all local ER's.

6.  parent too many other people's children who were making poor life-choices by:  using inappropriate language for pre to teenage kids, remaining completely intertwined like a two-headed snake with a boy/girlfriend while in the pool or hot tub and very near elementary aged children who stared with a diligence that might result in an impromptu 'birds-bees' conversation, and making stupid remarks regarding the safety rules of the pool at break-time...I cannot be held responsible for the aforementioned children's choice to leave the pool upon being enlightened by me as to the necessity of said pool-safety-during-break-rules...

7.  call a weird boy 'Capri-Pants' boy......well, at least not to his face....or, maybe not in ear-shot.

8.  offer weight-loss advice to a pool-patron chowing down on a boat full of concession-stand-nachos while explaining the nuances of Weight Watchers...but I did stare in total disbelief!

9.  stand on the diving board and sing my personally-composed medley of Donny Osmond hits....today I remained in my chair for this performance.

10.  And...today, I did not punch Sassy in the face when she said "SHUT UP and GET AWAY FROM ME!"  I wish I could say that there was no bodily contact...a boob-violation did occur, but Sassy still didn't get punched!

Tomorrow, on the other hand, is a brand new day!