Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Listing the really annoying.

In no particular order:

1. Reading the TV guide to me as I am also reading it and scrolling down. Who here remembers the TV Guide that used to come in the Sunday paper? I do. At my house, we saved that TV Guide, and no one dare lose it! We studied it from front cover to back, marking our favorite shows, and flagging things not to be forgotten. NOW, we have the interactive TV Guide scrolling down the TV in real time. YAY! Or not. Guess what children? I can read it. I will select something I like without you narrating the actual scroll down. Get busy with the shutting up.

2. Don’t poke me in the shoulder. Really? Don’t poke me anywhere, but ESPECIALLY in the shoulder. ‘nuf said.

3. Don’t walk in front of me, and then stop. I’m pretty sure I’ve complained about this behavior before, but it didn’t seem to work then, so I’ll try one more jaunt down the bitchy alley. Walk beside me, or wait for me in the car.

4. If you’d like to ask me a question about what activities I’ve got scheduled, just come right out with the question. Don’t quiz me first, to see if I might be available. Put on your big girl panties, and come right out with the request, and then take the response I give you. Guilt is a two way street, and I’m really getting good at it. Plus, it rarely works on me, because I’m mostly mean.

5. If I’d like to wish you a ‘Happy Holidays’, it’s not because I don’t love Jesus. ‘Merry Christmas’ to you, and also ‘Happy New Year’, but since I’m mostly lazy, ‘Happy Holidays’ covers everything with fewer words. I won’t be judged by you or your misguided holiday wishes. You can go right ahead and frown and scowl at my ‘Happy Holidays’, but you’re missing the point.

My life isn’t for everyone.

Get ready for a more honest blog.

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