Thursday, December 31, 2009

A Time for Giving

This Christmas brought a time of hustle, bustle, shopping trips to town along with the rest of the northern half of Texas, and........SNOW (Thank you Jenn Beamer!)!!!

That's right!  We had a "White Christmas!"

Our "Winter Wonderland" was also fraught with all of the perils of traveling in 3-5 ft. drifts of snow and inch upon inch of ice!

Our very own neighborhood was no exception.  On Christmas Eve, just outside of our backdoor and off of our driveway, at least 5 people got stuck in the 3 & 4 ft. drift that covered our street.......little did they know--and lucky for them--that at our house lived an "Every day Hero" by the name of Mr. Analytical!!

This, my friends, is one of the many reasons why I love this man so!  No matter the weather, the temperature, or what his daily-grind brings, he will never bypass a stranded motorist.  Thus, every one who was stuck outside of our driveway was greeted by Mr. Analytical--clad in his Carhart coveralls--with a smile and a "Need some help?  I've got a chain and my truck's warm," only to be on their grateful way within a brief time.  All except for the 9:30 PM stranded motorist....

At 9:30 PM on Christmas Eve we heard the intermittent spinning of tires and knew the scenario.  Mr. Analytical donned the coveralls, gloves, toboggan and headed out the back door with the same resolve he had when the sun was shining and he pulled out the first stuck vehicle earlier in the day.  Mr. Analytical and the driver of the truck pulled, dug, pulled, dug...and dug some more.  They worked tirelessly.  

At 10:02 PM, I began to get a little concerned that the two men had been out there a little too long and needed something hot to drink, so I set to work on some hot chocolate to take out to them (I may not cook, but I can whip up a hot chocolate that would make Santa feel all warm and fuzzy).  Just as I was pouring the cocoa into cups to take out--around 10:10--Mr. Analytical walked in the back door.  The man was out and gratefully on his way...and his vehicle had been VERY stuck!

Around 11:30 AM, on Christmas Day, Mr. Analytical was heading out the back door to go to work (he'd been called in for an acute heart-attack).  When he opened the back door there, hanging on the handle with a red bow and an anonymous 'Thank You' attached, was a brand new tow rope!!

Now, we have no idea from whom that package came, nor do we know when and where that person could have possibly purchased that tow rope between 10:15ish PM on Christmas Eve and 11:30 AM on Christmas Day!  But to you, Mystery Giver, we say 'Thank YOU!!!!'

I love this man I call Mr. Analytical.  Many who know him love him.  If you don't have the privilege of knowing him I hope that someday you have the pleasure and blessing of making his acquaintance.  He is a true "Every Day Hero!"

*This post is dedicated to the memories of Milton & Leona Troxel (who have both now gone home to the arms of our Lord, Jesus) of Austin, TX who first called Eric Knight a Christmas blessing and Every Day Hero on Christmas Day, 1995.*  

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Merry Christmas stomach flu.

This year, on Christmas Eve, I had the stomach flu. Really, you don't need anymore details than that. It was a short, unpleasant, stomach flu. Every body's been there.

Here's a list of things I didn't accomplish on Christmas Eve. (because I had the stomach flu)

1. no food preparation
2. no cookies baked for Santa
3. no wrapping of the last minute gifts
4. no movie watching (except Star Wars IV, V & VI) I love Star Wars, may the force be with you.
5. no children watching

Also, our town had about 8 inches of snow on the ground, so I did no snow playing, no sidewalk scraping, and no errand running. (These things I don't enjoy anyway.)

Basically, I got a free day in bed! Thank you stomach flu.

Wait a minute..... people here's the good part.

I have a really delightful husband! He took care of all the things on 'the list' plus tons of other things, and I didn't even have to ask him to do it! Just, he did it, because I had the stomach flu. He also kept me hydrated, cooked me some soup, and made sure my feet were warm. (how sweet is that?)

Christmas morning was awesome! Everything was done. I am truly blessed.

Today, we celebrate 20 years of being married. Happy Anniversary, babe.

I know! This scrapbook page is SWEET and AWESOME.... and, look how cute we are! It's amazing, 20 years is a long time.

This summer, my wonderful, talented friend, Brandi, came to our house and took some Anniversary Pictures for us. Here we are.

Here we really are.

This man, I love.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

"A Little Help Here, People!"

A girl's beauty is of the utmost importance....however, there is only so far a brother will go to ensure his sister's beauty.

*Scene:  A lovely family-filled Christmas night at Oma's & Opa's.*

Little:  Mom!  Can we put on my nails that Santa brought me?  Please, can we do it now?

PrissE:  Sure.  These will be stuck really well.  I'm using nail glue along with the self-stick adhesive.  You do need to let the glue dry for a little while though.

*time passes.....nails are being applied.......*


Little:  OOH!  I have to potty!  Be right back!

*a few minutes later...........

Little:  BIG!  I need a little help here!  I have long nails now and I can't pull up my britches!

Big:  No.

Little:  OMA!  I need a little help here!  I have long nails now and I can't pull up my britches because now I have long nails.  


Sometimes, being beautiful is a collaborative effort!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Merry (day after) Christmas!!

Merry (day after) Christmas!!

hey all you blog-stalkers,

Clear out of the way!! I'm on my way to the Target!!

p.s. meet me at the Barnes & Noble Starbucks.... you know the time! :)

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas to all our blog-stalkers!

We LOVE You!!

PrissE & Sassy

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Dear Diva... YES!!! Drama Diva Has her OWN 'Advice Column!'

To all of our loyal "stalkers" (and the not-so-loyal, too...P.S.  if you're not loyal, get loyal!  and if you get loyal, bring more loyal stalkers with ya!  spread the word!):

We, here at Tales, are all about you, our reader.  AHAHAHAHAH!!!  Now, that's funny!  Y'all--you know it's all about us, right?  .....NO!  Wait!  Seriously, though, we are very appreciative of our readers and followers.  It truly is all about you!  So, we've decided to heed your call.

We've gotten so many emails, letters, and calls from people wanting to ask Drama Diva how she would solve some of their life's dilemmas that we've decided to ask her to be a "Guest Contributor" to the blog.  That's Right!!  Drama Diva will now have her own advice column exclusively here on Tales from the Compact!

Be here at 8:00 AM on Monday, December 21st, 2009 as Drama Diva debuts her new advice column, Dear Diva...

**Diva would like to thank her first 'desperate-for-Diva's-advice' seeker, "Drama Queen!"  And, GURL...does Diva have some advice for you!  STAY TUNED........

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Adventures in Substitute Teaching: Why I never became a real teacher.

I don't like everything at school. Sure, the coffee is free, and with enough creamer, it's delicious and makes the day start off delightfully, but that's not really a good reason to become a real teacher. Recently, I've come to realize some of the reasons I never became a real teacher. Let's do it all, 'David Letterman: Top 10 Countdown Style'.

Why I never became a real teacher:
#10: I'm a bad speller.

#9: There's all that 'planning'.

#8: Red tape.

#7: I never learned to 'color' inside the lines.

#6: School starts too early.

#5: Not enough bathroom breaks.

#4: Principals/teachers/any other adult in the building with no sense of humor.

#3: I really can't write small enough to put grades in that tiny grid-marked green grade book thing.

#2: I actually LIKE most children.

AND, the #1 reason why I never became a real teacher:

#1: I have no idea how to make up a list of unreasonable rules and stick to them!

Hey all you teachers out there, some things you can't learn from books. Jump out of the box!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

'Tis the Season!

Pull up a cozy chair, grab your favorite comforting drink, crawl under your blanket and get ready for a Christmas tale to remember....

MOVE over all you Mall-Rats!

WATCH out you Wal-Martians!!

TURN & RUN all you Target Tourists!!! comes CHRISTMAS CAROL--Shopping Diva!!!

You know the lady....she's the one who cut you off on the access road so that SHE can pull into the parking lot first!

She's the one who nearly mowed over Granny Mabel and her walker-basket combo as she exited the store...all for the "best parking spot" she could find!

CHRISTMAS CAROL is the one who stands huffing & puffing & making that tongue-clicking sound in irritation whilst standing with her left hand planted firmly on her protruding left hip.....she CANNOT see through you to choose the best Lizard Larry action pack for her precious little Edward Elf!  After all, her baby boy deserves the best!  Never mind that you did grace the aisle a full 1 minute 37 seconds BEFORE Carol--AND, you have your basket scooted over on the right side of aisle appropriately and legally, according to Section 1.7C of the Texas Shoppers Ethics Code (or TxShEC for short!  OK.  So I made up the section #...but, y'all, the shoppers' ethics ARE implied!).

Oooh!  A new checkout lane opens and you're next to be called over by the sultry sound of the uncharacteristically happy cashier's words:
     "Ma'am.  I can get you over here."
...Only to be basket-banged by none other than--you guessed it!--CHRISTMAS Carol!  She does have a wildly busy schedule, y'all!!

Don't Fret, my friend!!  'Tis the Season...

Just then, the preciously-angelic & heaven-sent cashier monologues to CHRISTMAS Carol:
     "Ma'am.  I must object to your most recent action and ask you to step aside for this lady whom I just called.  She was to be first in this line.  
     "You see, I saw you cut her off on the access road when pulling into the parking lot.  I was right behind her pulling in, myself and I never heard her even honk at you."

     "I then watched you nearly kill an elderly pedestrian with a walker as she exited our store, simply so you could illegally park on the diagonal yellow lines in between handicapped & general parking.  That was when I decided to monitor and observe you in our store, in case security might be needed."

     "I watched you, once more, inflict your 'air of entitlement' on this lady on a toy aisle.  Yet, she never returned the rudeness.  Instead, I heard her say 'Oh. Excuse me,' when she realized you were exasperated."

     "But this is the straw that broke this camel's back, Ma'am.  Now you've made actual physical contact by bumping her basket with yours so she'd stop and you could push on through.  You know what I heard this lady say to you then?  Nothing.  No complaint, no gripe, no snide remark.  Nothing.

     "I can tell you what Christmas means to many of our shoppers just by observing their Christmas shopping behaviors.  Christmas, to you Ms. Carol, is all about you and yours...what OTHERS can do for you.  Christmas to this lady, however, is about the consideration, safety, welfare, and happiness of others.  In a word, to her Christmas is Jesus.  I can tell that SHE gets it, and you, Ms. Carol, do not."

     "So, after I check her out, I'll happy to do the same for you.  And, I hope, Ms. Carol, that when you leave here, you feel a little safer, a little happier, and a little more humbled...because, as far as I'm concerned, you and I, through this lady, have just stood in the presence of God.  You have a Merry Christmas."

Well.  Whatta ya know...Jesus can even manifest in an overly-stressed, over-worked cashier at Christmas shopping time!  That just goes to show that, even when we think no one else is watching, being the Salt and the Light to others and glorifying our Savior at all times through our actions is ever imperative!  

To whom will you show Jesus this season?  Or, will someone be showing you to Him (Thank you Angel-Cashier!!)?

Merry Christmas to All, and to All, Peaceful Shopping!!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Friday, December 11, 2009

YES she did.....

The list of things moms do is long. Super long.

You guys probably remember a post PrissE wrote one time about the 'Expectant Mothers' parking spot at the grocery store. In theory, this is probably a super nice thing for the store to do. In reality, all moms deserve that spot at one time or another.

I'm so proud of our fan and our friend, Tiffany R!! She recently took a delightful coffee conversation and put it into action!

Everyone, picture this: Six super fun moms all sitting in the new Barnes & Nobel -Starbucks just enjoying the morning. Everyone is coming or going from some 'Mom' job, and we're just all taking a brief moment to re-fuel on caffeine and friendships. The one thing that makes the morning special? No one planned to meet there, we just all ended up there together.

Conversation turns to the parking spot. We all start to laugh! The moms that really need that spot are the moms of teenagers, or the moms with 3 children or more. (OR, Moms of multiples! I've been there, done that!) Those are the moms that rarely have their eyeliner on straight, are often late, and are frequently stopping by the grocery store to either feed a random child or set of children, or to pick something up that is 'essential' but has been forgotten until 10 minutes before it's needed.

We all laugh! Really, the mom that needs the expectant mom parking spot could be any of us! Wouldn't it be wonderful if we started a new trend. Hey moms! If you need the close spot at the grocery store, park there! Use the spot! If you have a new baby, park further away, you're probably still exercising, expecting that 'baby weight' to melt off. (Bless your heart, I don't want to burst any bubbles here.)

Or, how about this? ALL Moms, let's work together on this! If you need to park close, do it! And, if you see some Mom parking close without a baby.... don't judge.

So, back to Tiffany.

She did it.

One delightfully busy day, she pulled up at the grocery store, parked in the expectant mom parking spot and exited the giant mom car with only her teenager with her. Oh, poor teenager... sweet thing was EMBARRASSED that Tiffany parked there. 'Mom, you can't park here!!'

Tiffany replied (at the top of her voice, while walking into the store), 'YES I can! Today, I am an expectant Mom. I expect my children to do many things they haven't done yet. Also? I have FOUR children! So, stare at me if you must, but today I need the close parking, so I'm taking it!'

Thank you Tiffany!

Your boldness empowers us all!!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

"Fat Free!" Ch. 2--23 Lbs. down...and Baby STILL Gotta Fat-Back!"

Chapter 2:  “23 Lbs down…and Baby STILL Gotta Fat-Back!”

Little & PrissE (PRE-23 Lb loss!)

Little:  Mommy, when are you gonna lose the rest of your fat?

“It’s just another manic Monday, oooohhhh wooaaooo, That’s my funday, woooooooaaaoooo  wooooaaoo…”  As if I needed another day of mania! 
Well, actually, I completely skipped out on Monday (okay…so I’ve skipped out on several Mondays).  Now it’s Wednesday—December 9th--I’ve not lost 80 pounds, and summer is less than six months away…the 80 pounds has to be gone!  Is it possible to break the Biggest Loser records at home, without a trainer, access to equipment, and a pantry full of processed food?  SURE!!  Oh, yeah, and every other commercial I see on TV is either a diet program or a fast food commercial. 

Did I mention that I’m watching lots of TV?  Could that be an issue?  Could that be the reason my metabolism is operating at the pace of snail? 
“How’s that working for ya?” (Can’t you see Dr. Phil standing in between me and my T.V. asking me this question?  Ooh!  Too creepy!  Sometimes, I think Jesus speaks to us through people like Dr. Phil…NOT!) 

Needless to say, after much negotiation between my foot and Dr. Phil’s high & mighty not-so-skinny moral turpitude, he’s now moved out from in between me and my daily dose of 7th Heaven, Matlock, and my recorded episodes of DCC. I suppose a smidge of cardio during DCC wouldn’t be so bad…maybe I could do a routine or two with Kitty and the Training Camp Candidates…two, may be three minutes later:

PrissE:  Hello.  911?  HELP!!!! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009


tap, tap, tap....

this thing on??

Hello? People?

Why doesn't anyone ever leave a comment? If I wanted to just talk to PrissE, I'd call her on the phone. We're constantly entertaining together on a phone conversation. Maybe we should just record one of those?

Leave a comment.

Offer us a book deal.

Tell us what you think?

Friday, December 4, 2009

Open Letter to Girls

Dear Girl aged 14-16,

You're not 'all that'. You wear too much eyeliner, too much hairspray and too much perfume is worse than none at all. I promise Snickers for lunch isn't a good idea and YES!! you too will get a big butt when your boobs come in... it's a package deal.

Consider less talking and more listening. Seriously, boys aren't thinking anything and YES! that outfit looks dumb.

All My Love,

Every Substitute Teacher in the Universe

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Celebrity Sighting #1

So, I'm sitting at the new B&N with Sassy, just staring out the window at all of the people in the mall parking lot, and WHOM should we see?????

None other than the One-And-Only.................

Country Music Icon--CRYSTAL GAYLE!!!!!!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Open Letter to Boys

Dear Boy aged 14-16,

You're not 'all that'. Deodorant is not optional. You're not invisible when you pick your nose. Yes, girls notice. Also? Please pull up your pants, take a shower, and consider a haircut.

All My Love,

Every Substitute Teacher in the Universe

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Talking About Girls--From the 2-DQ-Dudes

How, exactly, do 9-year-old boys feel about girls and the things they do?  People, this is a true story....seriously....I couldn't make this up if I tried!

The 2-DQ-Dudes

MM-So do you have any girls? I have 0.

Big- You dont have any girls in your class!?!

MM-No!!! I have 0 girlfriends!!!

Big-(Laughing) Ohhh! I don't have any girlfriends either.

MM-Hey-you have freckles like me right?


MM-Tell the girls they are angel kisses-they love stuff like that!

Big-Okay (laughing).

MM-Why do girls think they look good with make up on?

Big-I don't know.

MM-I think rich girls start to wear make up way to soon and it makes them look ugly.  

Big-Yeah sometimes rich girls are really mean.

MM-My mom says that you need to like a girl who loves Jesus and if she doesn't she can make your life really miserable.

Big-Yeah loving Jesus is really important.

MM-Now women, they need to wear make up...have you ever seen my mom without makeup?!?!  Looks like she having a sinus infection...Some girls in CM's class wear make up-he doesn't like it either.