Chapter 2: “23 Lbs down…and Baby STILL Gotta Fat-Back!”
Little & PrissE (PRE-23 Lb loss!)
Little: Mommy, when are you gonna lose the rest of your fat?
“It’s just another manic Monday, oooohhhh wooaaooo, That’s my funday, woooooooaaaoooo wooooaaoo…” As if I needed another day of mania!
Well, actually, I completely skipped out on Monday (okay…so I’ve skipped out on several Mondays). Now it’s Wednesday—December 9th--I’ve not lost 80 pounds, and summer is less than six months away…the 80 pounds has to be gone! Is it possible to break the Biggest Loser records at home, without a trainer, access to equipment, and a pantry full of processed food? SURE!! Oh, yeah, and every other commercial I see on TV is either a diet program or a fast food commercial.
Did I mention that I’m watching lots of TV? Could that be an issue? Could that be the reason my metabolism is operating at the pace of snail?
“How’s that working for ya?” (Can’t you see Dr. Phil standing in between me and my T.V. asking me this question? Ooh! Too creepy! Sometimes, I think Jesus speaks to us through people like Dr. Phil…NOT!)
Needless to say, after much negotiation between my foot and Dr. Phil’s high & mighty not-so-skinny moral turpitude, he’s now moved out from in between me and my daily dose of 7th Heaven, Matlock, and my recorded episodes of DCC. I suppose a smidge of cardio during DCC wouldn’t be so bad…maybe I could do a routine or two with Kitty and the Training Camp Candidates…two, may be three minutes later:
PrissE: Hello. 911? HELP!!!! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!