Dear Girl aged 14-16,
You're not 'all that'. You wear too much eyeliner, too much hairspray and too much perfume is worse than none at all. I promise Snickers for lunch isn't a good idea and YES!! you too will get a big butt when your boobs come in... it's a package deal.
Consider less talking and more listening. Seriously, boys aren't thinking anything and YES! that outfit looks dumb.
All My Love,
Every Substitute Teacher in the Universe