Thursday, May 27, 2010

Kryptonite to PrissE

I thought I was a strong person.  I thought I could handle almost anything!  Apparently, I've found my "kryptonite".....

It's called.....Sleepovers!

This is what happens to me the day after my 6 year old Little and my "almost" 10 year old Big BOTH have sweet, crazy, fun, and energetic friends sleepover (that's 5 kids to entertain, feed and police, y'all!!!  I'm pretty sure the 3 girls delivered the most concentrated doses!)......

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I won employee of the month. (sorta)

PrissE has awarded me a new title, Mrs. Random. I'm very proud of this title, as I earned it at our last staff meeting. We sit at staff meeting thinking of hilarious stories to tell you. Most of it? All true. Some of it? I just make up.

Hence the new title: Mrs. Random. (Is anyone paying attention?)

I am 5 ft. 6 in. and shrinking. In approx 6 to 18 months, I'll be the shortest person living at my house. I'm ok with that.

I woke up at 4am this morning. I think it's because I turned 40 this month. I don't know why I think that. I'm NOT ok with 4am.

A very expensive cosmetic counter gave me a sample bottle of their foundation. I've been wearing it for about 4 days, and I don't like it. I think it makes me look older, and more saggy eyed. I'm wearing it because I can't waste expensive foundation, even though the Cover Girl I normally wear looks nicer on my face. I don't know who to blame for this rationalization.

I think if newborn babies were born with scanner codes on their bottoms, that told the tale of what they were going to do as a teenager, there would be less children.

Recently, one of the Bossman's oldest and dearest friends found him, and re-connected. As it turns out, this friend has become a taxidermist. I found that fact out, and was instantly impressed! That final occupation punches the last 'red neck' qualification off my card. I'm official, and I didn't even have to count the old dryer on the back porch. (That's been there for almost one full year.) Or, the number of things repaired in my home with duct tape.

I don't know how I earned the title, Mrs. Random, but I am sure proud of it!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Apparently, I'm an Addict.........

Hello.  My name is PrissE.  And I'm addicted to reality TV.

Hello, PrissE...

Isn't admitting the addiction the "first step?"  I'm sure I could quit anytime I wanted...but I prefer to wait until the seasons' finales.  I choose to quit then.  So, it's really not like I'm completely addicted.  I do quit...for a while...until the next season...

You need to understand, also, that I don't watch each of these shows when they first air on their respective channels (really it's not justification, I promise *fingers crossed*).  I watch many of them on DVR............Nevertheless, you be the judge...AND, what are your "reality" addictions?

Currently I watch the following (but NOT ALL of them when they first air on their respective channels, I said!  I can't watch ALL of them when they come on at the same time!  Bunches are on my DVR.  That's not the same.....):

Celebrity Apprentice
Dancing with the Stars
Amazing Race
The Bachelor/Bachelorette (They don't come on during the same season!!  so get off my back already!)
Project Runway
Models of the Runway (this could be considered part of Project Runway, ya know!)
American Idol (This is Simon's last season...I can quit anytime I want.)
Tabitha's Salon Take-Over (Hair is VERY important!)
Shear Genius
Deadliest Catch (R.I.P. Captain Phil)
Big Brother
Rock of Love
Keeping up with the Kardashians
True Beauty (It's only on during the summers...that's hardly addiction!)
Dirty Jobs
Run's House
Gene Simmons' Family Jewels
Making the Team: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders (I'm from Texas!  It's my responsibility!)
The Biggest Loser (obesity IS an American epidemic, y'all!)
American Chopper
America's Got Talent (Again...only during summers!)
So You Think You Can Dance (maybe I exercise to this show......maybe not.)
Kitchen Nightmares
Hell's Kitchen (To be fair, I don't cook.  So, maybe this is how I'm learning....)
Scott Baio is 45 & Single (Which he's not now.  I'm not accountable for this one.)
Scott Baio is 45 & Pregnant (Which he's not now.  See above.)
What Not to Wear (This is just good education.)
16 & Pregnant (I make my kids watch this sometimes, again, good education!)
The Real Housewives franchises (These I lump together...they only count as one.  I don't care what you say.)
......and, finally....Hoarders (It's just a good reminder for me to be better at cleaning!)

Maybe a reality show about ME and my reality show addictions is in your local listings!

What are YOUR reality addictions?  Come know you've got 'em!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Bringin' some joy!!

I have a new addiction! This time it's not anything as traumatic as Little Debbie Snacks or Diet Pepsi. It's something a little bit nicer, and more fun for everyone!

I'm addicted to a digital paper crafting program called, My Digital Studio from Stampin' UP!

Check it out:

Oh, there are more.... so. many. more. Way too many for this post.

So far, the only harmful side effect is a little bit of pain in my clicking hand. I figure, I was probably gonna have arthritis anyway.

I love MDS! I love creating these pages!

Share my joy!!

Friday, May 21, 2010

THANK YOU, Rhumba!!! It's NOT Just a Ballroom Dance!

A tale of tragedy, loss, suffering, determination, and ultimate joy!

Recently, a devastating event occurred in my fashion accessory life.  I was compelled, by despair...well, and the issue a public & formal apology (I'm certain that my jewelry chest mourned for days after...).

I'm speaking, of course, of the day one of my favorite rhinestone studded peace sign earrings was tragically separated from it's mate, and my ear, while I was cruising, top down, at a stable and safe 65mph.  It crash-landed somewhere along the Marsha Sharp after being deflected off the menacing windshield of an overbearing red Sonata.  *Moment of Silence in memory of said accessory*

For days I lamented my loss.  For days I searched the "information super highway"--although my original can never be replaced--for Sparkly Peace.  Each search came up empty...I do have requirements, ya know.   Standards, one might say.

They must  be at least 1 1/2 to 2 inches in diameter, be truly sparkly, and dangle in a way that each stone catches, gently hugs, then delicately refracts all manners of light.  Standards you see.

On this, my third, and resignedly final, day of searching the good-ole www, I typed in my query (that's Internet talk for "so here's what I need"), and dismally pressed Enter (that's the "NOW SCOOT and go find me what I need" button).  Albeit, my mind said this effort was futile, my desperate hopefulness kept reminding me that one can find ANYTHING online.  Mr. Analytical purchased "skunk odor" for a science fair project for Big, and a friend of ours even found "red fox urine" on Ebay (don't ask...)!  But, I digress.....

Where was I?  Search....Enter.....AH!  Yes.  That, my fantastically bejeweled friends, is when the rhinestone-embellished-pearly-gates of accessory-heaven opened and the radiant beams of a crystal-miracle shown upon my 13 inch gateway to the world!!

Once my blessedly-blinded eyes adjusted, here's the beautiful panacea I beheld:

And the goddess that showered me with sparkly healing affection?  It was none other than the most superlative jewelry-saint...RHUMBA!!!
THANK YOU, RHUMBA!  You are the Jewelry-Mecca that provided the healing balm for my down-trodden accessory collection!  (And, they're not even paying me for the props!  They are just THAT good!)

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Thursday night, at basketball, this happened.

Our family has just completed yet another season of Little Dribbler Basketball. This time, it was a team for Fox and Mav. They've got that whole thing going where you're born at the same time; therefore, you automatically get on the same team. As a parent, it's really the only way to do it. I efficiently had my children; therefore, we get double of everything! I'm getting off the subject.

Back to basketball!

'Round these parts, I'm sort of known as an energetic team supporter. I cheer a lot. It's usually loud. It's always positive, unless I'm pointing out some obvious mis-cues. Really? I'm just here to help. I've never been asked to sit down, be quiet or otherwise leave the building. To sum up -- I've never been kicked out of a game. Never even given a warning! I'm just spirited. Yes. That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.

Thursday night, the Bossman was given a warning. I wouldn't believe it, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes! A happier night, I've never had at a basketball game.

I believe the Bossman's exact words were, 'Come on! Call the fouls!' Oh, it was a joyous evening!

The rest of the basketball tournament, the officials 'had their eyes on us'. Which is nothing new for me, but the Bossman couldn't hide behind that mustache anymore. He was a target!

So, for the record.... family members please take note...

It wasn't me this time!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

A Formal, Public Even, Apology to the Red Sonata Behind Me...

Lately, Spring has sprung!  The sun has been shining, my toes have been rockin' the flops, and topless is how I've been cruisin'!

What better way to spend a beautiful day, when you live 12 hours from the beach, than to go.........SHOPPING!  So in my ladybug I hop and set off on a mission to find a killer pair of summer wedges, replenish the amazing Lancome mascara (and they are not paying's just that good!), and purchase a little "peace"....Peace sign jewelry is my FAVE!

"Mission Impossible," Sassy would say......NOT this day!!!  Check out my finds!  Not one, but TWO killer pairs of summer wedges!

Feeling ultra pleased with my two new purchases, I head in the direction of my most favorite mascara...and SCORE!  If I wait until the next business day to purchase it, I'll receive a free bag with travel size cosmetics!!  So, yeah!  I waited two more days...I'm just consumer-savvy that way!

Maybe this is the point at which I should tell you that I've spent my entire shopping time rockin' to my iPod....headphones in, volume up and I am rockin' my way through the mall--and the "used-car-attitude" salespeople are unappreciative, to say the least, of me obliviously groovin' my way through their territories while completely not hearing their incessant "May I help you"s....aaaaahhhhhh, musical heaven!

After making my consumer-savvy decision regarding the most excellent mascara in the universe--I'm pretty sure that if Jesus wore mascara, this would be the lovely-lash-luster He would choose--I move on to "Mission Impossible II," TOE RINGS!!!!  S-U-C-C-E-S-S, Claire's is the BEST!!!  Not only did I purchase a totally boss peace sign toe ring, but check out my new piece of staple jewelry......peace, love & FLOWERS!

Lookin' good, feelin' fine, rockin' on through the mall......OMG it's almost 3:00!!!  Time to head to the "carpool line from hell"--as I have come to affectionately refer to it--and I'm back in the Ladybug, top down and headed down the highway to my sweet babies' school....................WHEN THE MOST DISASTROUS EVENT OCCURS!!!!

It is with the humblest of attitudes that I issue this completely heart-felt, public, and formal even, apology to the red Sonata driving behind me on this warm yet blustery day.  I do profusely apologize for the Rhinestone-Studded-Peace-Sign-Earring-Projectile rocketing from my car into your windshield!  I hope your window didn't sustain any chips or cracks and that no one in your vehicle received whiplash as you so violently swerved to avoid the meteoric-sparkler targeting you.  On a side note, just on the off-chance you can do me a solid, would it be possible to get back my earring that just flew out of my ear and into your windshield?? I would be most appreciative. Thank you.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

What's in your basket?

Hello blog-stalkers!

I've just returned from a spirited trip to the Walmart! I unloaded my sacks, and came face to face with my purchases.

I'm a blogging diva, and I just purchased all this stuff, and I'm laughing! I can remember a time when the only thing in my Walmart basket was tampons, Coppertone, and lip gloss.

So, it made me wonder.... what's in your basket?

Props to PrissE's Peep!

On this, my first day home from my Denver-Vaca, I would like to issue a few "props to my peeps" for doing me a few "solids:"

1.  To Oma--thanks for saddling yourself to my sweet kids for 105 hours--give or take some minutes--and making sure that they received the appropriate level of parental guidance so as not to alert CPS!  YOU ROCK, OMA!!!!

2.  To Opa--thanks for "batch-ing it" for 105+ hours while Oma was held hostage, I MEAN stayed with the kids so that I could go to Denver with Mr. Analytical!  You, too ROCK!!!

3.  To my local Starbucks--on Milwaukee & the Marsha Sharp--THANK YOU for the free drink this morning!!  How did you know that we did not have time for bank-card-swiping-waiting-on-the-receipt-because-the-exhaust-warning-light-suddenly-illuminated????  Plus, that's just $4.65 cents I can put toward having my recently-expired-warranty-car put into the shop!!!

4.  To the Cardinals Coaches (you know who you are)--WAY TO GO!!!!!!  Thanks for being there when Mr. Analytical can't...which seems to have been quite a lot lately!

5.  To the Cardinals Boys Baseball Team--Just another day of being absolutely awesome, right boys?!  You just can't help but ooooooze that righteous killer skill on the diamond!  YOU GUYS ROCK for doing your jobs, and doing them well!!!!!!!!

6.  To the Southwest Airline Pilots flying us from Vegas to Denver--thank you for doing your jobs!!  I don't know if you used your hands, your feet, auto-pilot, manual drive, a shot of whiskey and a slap across the face, or what.....but you sure did jet us right through that "slight turbulence" and set us down on the ground mighty skillfully!!

6.  And, last, but not least--to all my peeps who prayed-up Oma and our trip-safety.  I'm pretty sure that when the bottom fell out from under our plane as it descended into Denver, Jesus pulled those prayers off the shelf and put them into action!  Lord knows my poor mom doesn't deserve to have raise my children....she so artfully & effortlessly made it through raising me.  That should be reward enough for one parent!

Home again, home again, jiggety-jig!  It's where my heart is!!!!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Nothing to say, all day to say it.

That title isn't exactly true.

I do have plenty so say. I just get distracted by thoughts of new pool towels and cute new swim suits, then I forget what it was that I wanted to say, then I remember that it's May and we're still playing basketball, and that reminds me that I'm busy.

Plus, I love writing run on sentences. It drives my sister crazy. Or not. But, she's embarrassed by my lack of grammar skills. Also, my lack of spelling skills. Also, fragmented sentences.

What was I talking about?

Oh right.

Never mind.

In my spare time, I've been creating classes like this.

Then, I get distracted by summer again, and I order the wrong size brads for all the customers, so I have to place another order for the right size brads.

When does the pool open?

Wait, I'm getting off track again.

The Bossman and the little mooches built this great new fire pit for our backyard this summer.

Building fire pits, makes boys tired. We're really gonna enjoy it this summer.

So that's what I've been doing with my days. I want to write a whole post about Fox and Mav and their basketball team. They are having so much fun playing this year! I'll have to wait until someone tallies up all the fouls, then I can write a proper account of what's been happening. Couple things we've learned: 1. Being tall has it's advantages when you're playing basketball, and 2. Putting your 'body on someone' means a whole host of things to a little boy. Almost all of those things are funny or will cause you to foul out, or both.

Has anyone seen my pool towel?

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I will not be left out.....

A few 'posts' ago, PrissE found some summer wedges and purchased them. I will not be left out of the purchasing loop! I found some wedges too! These are awesome and, they make me taller than all my children! Check them out!

They REALLY hurt my feet. Really bad. I have figured out that I can only wear them for approximately 750 steps. So, now, they are known as my 'Fancy Sittin' Shoes'.

Good News! I can wear them all day, if I'm sitting.

Friday, May 7, 2010

From this Mamma to All You Mammas!

Ladies!  Today's OUR day!  

Live in the luxury provided by your precious children...

Enjoy the family you have so tirelessly, yet effortlessly, cared for...

and Let Loose!


After All.........

From: Two Diva-Moms 
To: YOU!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Today is my Birthday!

Today is my birthday! I've arrived at 40. I'm only disappointed because I just found out I'm incapable of posing for a decent head shot.

These are all horrible. Fox took them, and he blamed ME. Whatever.

I took this one.
My haircut is cute, right?

Tuesday, May 4, 2010