Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Door to Door Lies

One beautiful evening, at the end of one horribly nasty attitude of a day, I had just snuggled into my comfortable chair (with the foot feet up) when there was a ring at the door. I was irritated, but I paused DWTS, and answered the door. Cute little gal informs me that she’s been sent from the State to test my water quality. Her fees have been paid by her company, could her team please check my water. They would need to enter my home and use my kitchen sink.

Against my better judgment, I agreed.

Water tester dude, spends about 20 minutes testing my sink water and discussing his preliminary results with Fox, Mav and the Bossman. I was home, just in the other room listening to this ….. FREAKIN’ SALES PITCH!

As each minute passes, I grow more and more disgruntled. I receive a text message from Jag, politely requesting that I pick him up from his school sponsored activity, so I slipped my sneaks on. I was headed out the back door when I stopped, cleared my throat, and asked the water tester dude one simple question.

“How much longer is this going to take?”

His reply stunned me as much as it horrified me.

“Just about another HOUR AND A HALF or so.”

It became uncharacteristically quiet in my home as I looked at the unfortunate dude and said quietly, “I’m about to leave to pick up my oldest son. I’m going to be gone approximately 7 minutes. You better be gone when I get home.”

Then, I left.

The Bossman tells me that the water tester dude looked at him with wide scared eyes. Bossman just said, “You heard her.” Then, Fox chimed in, “That’s what she said.” (Because he’s fixated on the television show, ‘the office’.)

It worked. He was running down our side street to meet up with his 'team' when I rounded the corner to come home.

People, don't spread your lies during DWTS.

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