Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Fat Free--Ch. My Wine Glass is Half-Fat!

My new personal mantra:  
When black ceases to be's time to take action.

Swimsuit season is JUST around the corner--literally.....there are 6 1/2 days left of school, and as of today, I am still swimsuit topless for the season.  This is cutting it dangerously close.

Can't you just see the headline:

Former Local Teacher Takes it 'Topless'
And we Don't Mean the Convertible She Drives....

In other economic news:  Local Pool Membership Sales WAY Up This Season.  Growing Number of Men, Teenage Boys, and Women Who Wear Flannel are Top Buyers!

Did I mention I STILL don't have an appropriate swim top for the new chlorine & Hawaiian Tropic-Huffing-Season??  

If I wore size "normal," this would be a NON-issue.  But, alas, I rock some KILLAH 'sistahs' in my 'northern region!'  And, they require special spandex-assistance.  Off-the-rack isn't tough enough to handle this hotness.  

So the great hunt begins--but not without some news of the diet that really should be on the forefront:

You see, my girl, Sassy is in a predicament of her own--because with 'swimsuit season' also comes--dun, Dun, DUNNNN--Wedding Season!  And, Sassy is making some of her own dietary changes in order to make her stunning appearance at said wedding events (as if she needed even the most microscopic of changes to be even more awesome!  I'm pretty sure it's a contradiction to the laws of physics to even think that either of us two divas could be more awesome--perfection IS perfection, after all!).

So when the going gets fat, We make a "Get Skinny Quick" plan!  **(See Disclaimer At the Bottom of This Post)**

Sassy's opting for some 'healthy choices,' including the ever popular Special K diet......Me?  Well, let's just say I'm sticking to what I'm 'skeeled' at:  

(This is a recent email response from me to Sassy regarding the depths to which we will have to go to make some head-way---or @$$-go-away---however you choose to see it):

HA!!  I been telling you there's a Special 'K'onspiracy!!!

For breakfast, I had my usual coffee and the last 1/3 of my personal-pint-chicken-salad & bagel crisps......and now I'm watering my humps like a desert camel.

I may just have wine for supper--you know, minimal calories tonight that will make their re-appearance tomorrow morning cuz they didn't have anything solid to bind to.

I'd be a kick-ASS alcoholic.  Everyone needs a skill.

I believe after I locate my shoes for tomorrow's high-powered meeting with a client, I'll copy/paste my part of this email into a neat little blog post--"PrissE Got Skeels. Wurd."


So far, I've made good on my new diet!!  YAAAAAYYY, ME!!!!

**Disclaimer:  TftC does not promote unhealthy eating choices or alcoholism in any form or fashion.  We do, however, love a good Little Debbie product and the occasional (if by occasional I mean 'nightly') bottle of wine.  Guess what?  We're grown-ups.  We're responsible.  Don't judge us.

1 comment:

  1. these days of dieting have awakened my eyes to what our HEAVEN will be.....

    nightly Little Debbie's and milk served on silver platters!! followed 2 hours later with the most awesome 'PINK' wine a Heavenly Angel can find....

    word to the liquor store... 'Electric Pink'... it's not just for the restaurants.