Wednesday, September 30, 2009

A Bright New Beginning--Or, The Cursed Entry to the Waiting Room for Hell!

Venture back with me, if you will, to a simpler time.  A time when children rush off to school, new supplies in their backpacks and smelling of unscuffed leather.  A time, not too long ago....Oh, say, August 24, 2009!!!!!!

Here's how our morning went preparing for our first day of school at a new school.....

6:00  Mr. Analytical's and my alarms went off, one right after another, and we realized that we both needed in the shower....who goes first?  Well...can't put a kink in Mr. Analytical's daily schedule, so in he goes.  Needless to say, we are now on our way to running late on the most stressful morning of our school year--the day we start a totally new school!

7:00  Mr. Analytical is still home because he's taking part of the morning off to go to the first day of school drop off with us (why he couldn't get in the shower after me is now a total mystery to me!)  He gets the kids up only to discover Little has had an early morning accident...EVERYTHING is wet!!!  Little needs a shower and we are now running a bit later than before.

7:30  Every one is dressed and sitting in the kitchen to eat breakfast.  This is new for Big as he has always eaten breakfast at school.  This year, though, he'll eat here at home instead and won't have to be at school until 8:00...what a nice change for us!  This isn't different for Little as she ate both at home as soon as she hit the floor and then at school about an hour and a half later.  By 9:00 she'll be asking when they get to go to lunch!

7:50  Load up every one!  This, as it turns out might be a little too late to travel the 2 minute drive to the new school through two school zones and 4A-District high school and elementary school traffic.  A major change from our SmallTown traffic (Pre-K through 12 all in one building under one roof).  May be the first day is much crazier because every parent of every child in a school of about 800 kids parks and gets out...and subsequently decides to leave at the same time.  It will definitely be a learning experience for us for a while!

7:57  We arrive at the school.  WHERE IN THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO PARK????????? we are, parked on the side of the parking lot.  No, it isn't a 'marked' parking spot, but we are not messing with semantics this morning!  Mr. Analytical is parked in the beetle does not go off road.

8:00  WE MADE IT INTO THE BUILDING!!!!  YAY!!!!!!  Here's how the kids did:
Little was a little unnerved...there were so MANY people in the room it was like a zoo!  Oh, wait.  Let me back up...this is how she did once we made it down the "WALK ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE HALLWAY ONLY!" kids are not used to this!  Now, back in the room...none of the parents spoke to one another except to say in that irritated 'get the hell out of my way because I have to hurry and act like I give a rats behind that my kid is in kindergarten when I really am totally excited to have my life back after summer vacation' voice, "Excuse us.  Oh, pardon us."  One of the mom's who I see at the pool lots during the summers has a daughter in Little's class.  Her name is Ellen and she has four kids in Bennett elementary...the kindergartner is her youngest.  Ellen's the one who showed me what to do this morning with Little's stuff and backpack since I didn't know my head from my ass and the teacher was most likely already tied up and locked in the closet--perhaps by her own hand.  We gave kisses and Little already had her pencil in her hand.  That girl is ready to learn I tell ya!

Big did NOT want for Mr. Analytical to make it into the room with him AND take pictures...but, none doing.  Mr. Analytical even went all the way to his desk with him.  He had that bravish "Sweet mother of Pearl why don't you just kiss me and tell me I'm your sweet biscuit bear in front of all of these strange kids who will determine how cool they think i am!" look on his face.  You know the look...."could my life get any more embarrassing" look!  Mrs. Rhoads is SOOOO sweet and fun (could be a total deception...don't forget how many years I taught and saw this very thing...but so far, she rocks!).  She said that another boy was supposed to be at Big's table.  She said, "We'll see if he shows up."  May be if he doesn't, she'll move some kids around and Big will have a boy at his group.  Big is also one of only 8 boys in a class of 23 kids!!!!  This is great if you're a college aged boy, but not so much if your only 9!  All that to say, Big looked like most in his room, deer in the headlights eyes.  But, the kid hasn't slept well in a week and has definitely been stressing...may be someone else in his class will be able to help him level out.  That person isn't me at this moment.

I have my venti iced-mocha, I'm watching Matlock and trying to come down out of orbit.  I txted Mr. Analytical that I needed some tequila shots but he said I had to wait until at least noon......NOOON!!!!!  WTH!?  How will I sober up by 3:00 if I wait until NOON???!!!!  Mr. Analytical knows NOTHING about such matters!'ll get better I suppose......DON’T FORGET, WE’RE NEW HERE!!!! (this is what I tell every one who works at the school when I ask about procedures or have ANY question!)

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