Monday, January 17, 2011

You Can't Fix 'Stooopid!'


This is my dog, Colonel.  Isn't he so cute?!

Recently, he was quite ill....he made rather 'un-cute' sounds....and, he left very 'un-cute' items on the carpet for Mr. Analytical.....who knew a sweet, small doggy like Colonel could upchuck so many previous meals!?!

Well, Mr. Analytical does!

Which leads me to my current state of perplexity.....

I'm concerned about the level of intellect of those currently employed in the "retail" industry.  Before embarking on an Internet scavenger hunt for the best possible steam-cleaning-machine-bargain, I decided to call local stores for price know, save Mr. A some shipping costs ('astonishing' is the word for which you are searching to describe my level of thoughtfulness...)

Disclaimer:  "The following is a true story.  Only the names have been changed to protect the 'stooopid.'

PrissE:  *dialing phone*  *ring, ring, ring*

Home Station Improvement:  Hello.  Thank you for calling Home Station Improvement Store.  You break it, we fix it.  How may I help you?

PrissE:  I need some price quotes on your in-stock carpet cleaning machines.

*Let me take this opportunity to give all you potential bloggers a piece of friendly advice:  the truth is always funniest....maybe a little unnerving on occasion, but always funniest!  And the following is no lie.*

Home Station Improvement:  And what will be using the machine for?

PrissE:  ??????????  WTH????????

*I'm sorry, stalkers...I just could NOT resist...*

PrissE:  Well.....scrubbing the carpet by hand didn't get rid of all of the blood and evidence, so I thought I'd give a carpet-cleaner a shot!

*Guess what?  Her manager will return my call as soon as she can......*  

SOOOOO, in conclusion and in observance of this momentous historical day, I am sharing my dream with you, blog-stalkers!

That man-kind would someday find the cure for the exceedingly dangerous and extremely contagious disease, 'Stooopid.'  It's a disease that can affect bazillions at any given moment!  Always be on your guard and take proper precautions to combat this terrifyingly 'stooopifying' phenomenon!

I recommend having an ample supply of donuts on hand and keeping the coffee hot for when the police come to call........

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