Friday, June 25, 2010

Today, I Did Not......

It's summer time and there are many things that my family, friends, and I do every day.  Some things are fun, some things are beneficial to us and others, and some things just have to be done.

 But today, there are tons of things that I DID NOT do!

Today, I did not..........

1.  fix my 6 yr. old bossy-whiney-Little breakfast after she said to my multiple suggestions, "I don't want that for breakfast!" and "Fruit is NOT breakfast food!"---I did, however, offer to once again show her the photos of the starving children in Africa online....she respectfully declined.

2.  offer my free dental advice and expertise to a strange man at the pool today....and that took almost all the restraint I had!

3.  design my 'Mother' under-the-boob-tattoo that seems to be "all the rage" among the strange adults at the pool today.

4.  ask the strange grown man playing with oodles & skads of children he didn't even know if he was in violation of any registered pedophile laws.....and that took the rest of my restraint.

5.  drown any children who, while innocently and joyously splashing about or playing at the pool, kicked me/jumped on me/bumped me/elbowed me /or asked me the same question 62 times.  You're welcome, CPS & all local ER's.

6.  parent too many other people's children who were making poor life-choices by:  using inappropriate language for pre to teenage kids, remaining completely intertwined like a two-headed snake with a boy/girlfriend while in the pool or hot tub and very near elementary aged children who stared with a diligence that might result in an impromptu 'birds-bees' conversation, and making stupid remarks regarding the safety rules of the pool at break-time...I cannot be held responsible for the aforementioned children's choice to leave the pool upon being enlightened by me as to the necessity of said pool-safety-during-break-rules...

7.  call a weird boy 'Capri-Pants' boy......well, at least not to his face....or, maybe not in ear-shot.

8.  offer weight-loss advice to a pool-patron chowing down on a boat full of concession-stand-nachos while explaining the nuances of Weight Watchers...but I did stare in total disbelief!

9.  stand on the diving board and sing my personally-composed medley of Donny Osmond I remained in my chair for this performance.

10., I did not punch Sassy in the face when she said "SHUT UP and GET AWAY FROM ME!"  I wish I could say that there was no bodily contact...a boob-violation did occur, but Sassy still didn't get punched!

Tomorrow, on the other hand, is a brand new day!


  1. I'm so jealous I can't go to the pool with y'all. It sounds like so much fun!!

  2. Today I did NOT go to the pool!!! It's RAINING!!!!!!!!! Make it STOP!!!!!!!!