Andy Sachs to Emily: You look great!
Emily to Andy Sachs: Thank you! I'm one stomach flu away from reaching goal weight!
----The Devil Wears Prada
While, mildly sadly, I'm not that near goal weight, I wouldn't be completely opposed to a little stomach bug to jump start the "after holidays" weight loss! Alas, no bug for me and a stalled motivation to boot! Whatever shall I do?..................I know! I'll adjust my nutritional intake!!!
Day 1: I'll take the Special K Challenge and replace 2 meals a day for 2 weeks with a bowl of Special K. Wonder how many boxes I'll need to buy for the 2 weeks. Says here on the Chocolate Special K box that there are 12 servings in this eeee-weeee tiny box....hmmm. So, while I'm no Rocket-Cereal Scientist, I think I'll need only 2 boxes plus 2 servings from a 3rd box. (I'd like to take a moment here to thank all of my precious friends who teach math, know math, and can do math...I'm sure, at some point, you are why I can do Rocket-Cereal Science!) SWEET! That's some inexpensive diet food!
Day 2: @#$%!! Whose been eating my Chocolate Special K??????!!!! I've only had 2 servings and there's only HALF of a box left!!!!! (if you listen closely, you can hear Mr. Analytical meekly and tenderly explaining weights & measures and possibly the metric system....I'm not totally certain, though, as I've gone into a rage-starvation-&-carnivorous induced coma...) WHAT?!? HOW much is a serving??!? That's not a serving!!! That's a nibble! An appetizer!!! A serving is a FULL bowl of cereal (I use the deep bowls for better flake-handling) with milk oozing up through it's cracks!!! YOU mean to tell me that I've eaten 3 DAYS worth of food in only 1 DAY!!!?! SON OF A -------------------------------------------------------!!!!!!
I'd like to go on record here and say to the folks at the DUHpartment of NOTrition: 12 servings in a box of Chocolate Special K there are NOT!!!!!!!! Unless, of course, you're supermodel skinny and know that you're gonna puke it up in the end anyway...then, naturally, it would be perfectly logical to assume that there are possibly even 24 servings in your boxes.
I would be completely remiss, however, if I neglected to correctly educate you. Allow me to share the "New Food Pyramid:"
Apparently, as NOT outlined in the "New Food Pyramid," 2 doses of an antibiotic, a dose of an antacid, 1 cereal bar, 1 slice of pizza, and 1 glass of wine a balanced DAILY nutritional intake do not make!
Perhaps I've gone from one extreme to the other? Yep. I'm screwed. Or....am I the "new 14" in reverse?!
Andy Sachs: So, none of the girls here eat anything?
Nigel: Not since size two became the new four and size zero became the new two.
Andy Sachs: Well, I'm a six...
Nigel: Which is the new fourteen.
----The Devil Wears Prada
P.S. Little Debbie is the Devil in a blue gingham dress!