Monday, March 8, 2010

I Say Potato.....(you say OCD)

I'm certain that, from about the age of two, my mother knew that I was "different" from most children.  Her first clue might possibly have been the catastrophic meltdown that ensued immediately upon her tying the laces on my first pair of lace-up tennis-shoes.  Why the complete and total launch into orbit, you ask?  Not one bow on either shoe was the same diameter as the other, nor did any of them lay the same on either side of the shoe!!!!!  Why else?  See.  It's perfectly reasonable and logical..........

It stands to reason, then, that I am a sold-out fan of symmetry...quite possibly to the extreme.  Balance Rocks My Socks! (which, by the way, need to be pulled up and/or folded down at just the same heights on each ankle with the toe-seam at exactly the same centered place just at the base of my toes on each foot...a non-issue really.....).

What's the mantra of all addicts?  "The first step to recovery is admitting the problem..."  While I don't necessarily see my OCD as a "problem" (perhaps I'm not ready for Step 1 yet), I do admit that it's a "noticeable" character trait I possess.  Here are just a few behaviors that give me that "Feng Shi" (pronounced Fung Shway to simple-folk like me) feeling of harmony:

  • My eye-shadow must match the outfit....even if I'm going to work-out, I make sure that my work-out clothes coordinate with my eye-shadow!  After all, one's appearance does create the "first impression," and the eyes are "the windows to the soul!"
  • Shoe laces are required to lay the same on both sides of the shoe as well as be the same diameter! I find it helpful to say inappropriate phrases and yell a bit....
  • Everything in even numbers please...except bracelets--see BQ #5
  • Repeat after me:  "Symmetry is my friend."  Make it so!
  • Everything has a place...please put it there!
  • Clutter stacks (yes, these are okay, but only if....) must be neatly stacked...nothing askew...unless it's strategically done for aesthetic and fashion purposes and it's this season's "in" thing.
  • My hair must look the same in the evening as it did when I fixed it in the not touch my hair!  
  • When going anywhere overnight, please pack a week ahead of time!  This ensures that the clothes I want to take on my trip will be clean, ready, and no last minute laundry needs to be done.  This, too, may need to be intertwined with the "inappropriate phrases and yelling a bit."
  • Upon returning from a trip, immediately unpack!  Do not sit down, do not make a phone call, do not pass "go," oh.  I'm a bit carried away.....
  • Praise the Lord for the Internet, movie-viewers, and archived episodes of my favorite TV shows....but, once a series is begun, I do not rest until I finish it or at least get caught up to the "all new" episodes on TV.  Maybe this is why I'm so sleepy.......NAH!
Since "every action has an equal and opposite reaction" (PTL!), there are consequences to not having my OCD satisfied.  Sometimes, achieving OCD-blissfulness must be accompanied by rage-induced screaming fits....action--reaction....or the ability to function only occurs after symmetry, coordination, and/or organization is achieved...again, action--reaction.  It's simple science.

Being "put-together" does take effort.  Being organized can be a challenge.  At least I'm not a total germaphobe too!  Look at me...accentuating the positive!

Maybe, together, Howie Mandell and I could make a "complete" (or totally symmetrical psycho), OCD person!


  1. ha ha ha! your disorder makes me laugh! i can't believe we're so different in this area! i wear basically the same eye shadow every day, and if i'm gonna wear socks, they likely won't even match! how funny!!

  2. oooh, gurl! you know it goes way deeper than this for me! sometimes it's sad, and sometimes is downright hilarious!

  3. yes, i know.... but, gurl... i respect you enough to NEVER touch your hair! that's how much i love you!! :)

    disorder and all!!!

  4. Oh my! It makes me feel so good to hear someone else has the same quirks (do we have to call it OCD??) as I do. Now, I don't possess all of those same ones - I pretty much wear the same eye shadow everyday - I don't have to have symmetry... but the unpacking thing - ME! And, having to watch all those episodes on my DVR - ME... and - it makes me crazy to have things on there that we've already watched and no one deleted! Keep it cleaned out please!! Anyway... I completely understand you!