What's this? An invitation to a ball being thrown by "There/They're/Their Highness!" And EVERY ONE in the village is invited! That means me!!
The King & Queen, There/They're/Their Highnesses,
Request your presence at
The Royal Mess Ball
Honouring one of there/they're/their many offspring
As he embarks on his journey to flee the family lands
R.S.V.P. via snail mail to one of 4 hostesses
P.S. Please bring your own snacks/beverages to eat & share with the entire southern half of the county......and, no, you will not be listed as a host/hostess of the Royal Mess Ball...that's only for the Chosen Ones.
Dear There/They're/Their Highnesses,
I regret to inform you that I will be unable to attend the Royal Mess Ball as I am not allowed to own my "own snacks/beverages," nor do I have any to "eat & share with the entire southern half of the county."
While I am grateful for the invitation, and am so dearly fond of this one of your many offspring, I find your boldness and lack of social etiquette to be beneath this lowly cinder-girl. In fact, I find it to be beneath the Mean Step-monster & Step-Brats with whom I share a lavish yet rundown manor.
I do wish you and yours a wonderful farewell celebration. I would also like to introduce you, at your earliest convenience, to my wonderful friend, Peggy Post of the Emily Post Etiquette/Institute. I think the two of you would have some marvelously spirited conversations as she, too, enjoys a great party. Perhaps we could make it a foursome and invite Ms. Martha Stewart as well. The anticipation of such a proper-etiquette-charged get-together makes me giddy!
Have a wonderful party and please give my best to the guest-of-honour.
P.S. BUY YOUR OWN STINKING PARTY FOOD!!!!