Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Safe Toilet Syndrome (aka: STS)

WARNING! Today's post contains information that might offend those with mild to zero senses of humor. If you don't have your funny bone turned all the way up, then please don't read this. Come back tomorrow.

Safe Toilet Syndrome (aka STS) is a serious traveling condition that afflicts(mostly women) and can cause a generally normal woman to experience.... ** cough ** stage fright, ** cough ** in the public bathroom, ** cough ** as it pertains to.....

Well, there's really no nice way to say it.

If you have STS, then you can't poop in a public restroom. This is serious. It's no laughing matter.

Gorgeous women that suffer from this condition have been known to try several 'tricks' to ease the pain. An over the counter aide, such as, Gas X or Tums might give some relief. Several attempts to find an empty bathroom might be made. Extra walking. Lots of water. These are all great ideas, and will help.

Gorgeous women that are lucky enough to find some relief will need to know the following phrases to say as they exit the public bathroom.

'Whoa! Really stinks in there! Better be careful!'


'You might want to try another stall, there's no tissue in this one.'

or, the one that always works,

'I'm sorry. I'm just so sick.'

If you suffer from this syndrome and experience no relief during your trip, don't fear!! You will feel some relief approximately three minutes after you return home. Your delightful husband will usually have your safe toilet all stocked up with fresh tissue, new reading material, and a delightful scented spray.

(Thank you traveling Stampin' UP! sisters! You know who you are! I won't name you in this post.... unless I decide I have too.)


  1. Gurl!! Having to be locked in a tiny room giving tests all day and only going to the restroom in the elementary restroom will do it to ya too!!! Or so I've heard......

  2. I wished more people at my work would suffer from STS.

  3. Ha ha ha ha!! Oh how well I know this syndrome... as you well know...