Thursday, April 22, 2010

Drama Diva: "I Just Met Man Hands"

I got spirit
yes I do...
I got spirit
how 'bout you?

I am so cute dressed in school spirit clothes! Time to support our small town team! I wonder who will be at the game tonight?

I've got my soft butt pad, my hydration bottle and plenty of peanut M&M's. This is gonna be one fun evening!! I wonder who will be at the game tonight?

I love old episodes of Seinfeld. I loved them when they were new, but I love them even more now, just 'cause funny stuff never gets old, right? One of my favorite episodes is, 'Man Hands.'

I'm feeling privileged. I'm feeling honored. I'm feeling.... well, cute, 'cause I am, that's why. But, guess what? I just met the Man Hands, herself! In the flesh! With the giant hands! She's real.

And, she's loud.

Not just because of the giant hand clapping either. She's loud in a 'I holler louder than any three people combined' sort of way. That would be alright, because in some circles, I'm known as a loud yeller as well. I know, that's hard for you to believe, but I've got to support the team! I'm nothing, if not supportive!

I'm a new under wire bra, and I've got to show off my top!!

Unfortunately, Man Hands yells really loud, really dumb, really inappropriate things. So, I'm just gonna help her out now. Because, I'm all about community service. I'm totally plugged into this town, and I can't stand for this sort of embarrassment to continue!

Hey! Man Hands, listen up! Don't tell the other team's fans the names of the referees. 'Cause, you know, they might yell mean stuff at them, and call them, by their given names, and I know those referees moms, and it's gonna hurt some feelings.

No mom. Not a single mom, ever. ever. ever. Wants to hear someone say to their baby, 'Come on Sam! We'll wait while you get your glasses! Do you want me to call your mommy to bring 'em over?' If I'm Sam's mom, some glasses might get put in an inappropriate place, and who wants Man Hands to have to retrieve something like that? In a place, remote.... like that?

But, I'm not Sam's mom.

I'm just looking out for every one's safety.

I care about the community.

** The actual name of the real referee has been changed to protect both of their sweet, sweet Mothers. Man Hands is her real name. I don't protect villains.


  1. I got spirit,
    Yes I do!
    But GURL! who wouldn't turn and run from that?!

  2. here's something funny...... the number of people who asked me today if 'they' are Man Hands.......


    i'll never tell!