Sunday, November 8, 2009

Beauty Shop, Episode 1: Hair Color

The life of a hairdresser is rarely simple. She's a self-employed goddess that holds herself to a standard of beauty few of us can achieve. Yet, every morning, she's perfectly teased, sprayed and glued into place. She must juggle the clients, the inventory, the trash, the kids, the husband (or lack of husband), the tasks are endless, and all that's before lunch!

I love my Beauty Shop. It's a nice place. It's a fun place. Let's face it... it's the place that makes me 'presentable' to the general public. You don't want to know the nightmare of gray hiding underneath this color. I can't share the facial hair horrors, the chipped fingernail disasters, or the train wreck that would exist without the Beauty Shop. It isn't pretty, and you'll never see it in public. I have a signed affidavit from my hairdresser. We are bonded for life.

Now, I must share with you a true story. Hold your applause till the end.

Many people love to be blond. Luckily, you don't have to be born blond to sport the do. It's a relatively easy bleaching process. There's a timer involved, some product, some bleach, a little heat.... before you know it, you're blond!

One day, a girl in the shop started working on a client. She needed to make her client the 'perfect platinum blond.' Seemed like a reasonable task, the only problem was three bills were scheduled to hit the bank, and the deposit hadn't been made from the night before. The hairdresser's solution? Simple enough... put the product on, set the client under the dryer, then, run to the bank. HELLO? Leave a client under the dryer with product on their head that could possibly burn it off at the root and leave them bald. There's a fine line between bald and blond. Luckily, in this case, no one was bald. So, the only reasonable result? Beautiful Blond!! Thanks to a couple of the other girls, the client left happy. See? It's a group effort.

A couple of hair dyes ago, I ventured to the wild side for some vibrant streaks of red and blond. Easy enough. My hairdresser did everything just as I wanted. In no time at all, I had some crazy red hair. There was one stipulation, and it went a little something like this here....

At this time, out of respect to the one who holds the power of 'the dye', I must directly quote her: "Sassy, if you get chlorine in this hair color, I will personally hang you from the tallest pole. You will never be red again, and I'll let whatever strange color of orange your hair turns, stay there. You are, under NO circumstances to enter a pool or hot tub of any kind. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

Now, a little bit of a warning would have been nice. Never let it be said that beautiful is easy. Girls, beautiful is a sacrifice and a process, and if you're not careful, your 'process' can end up hanging from the top of a pole as a sacrifice. No worries, I held to my strict instructions, and nary a hair on my head saw chlorine for the rest of that summer. I believe the results were worth it.

Crazy red isn't for everyone, but I loved it for those weeks.


  1. i loved your red too!!! glad you didn't touch the chlorine it was so worth it! one day i will have a red day too!!

  2. is that a convention pic? i assume so since Amy's in it and you have name tags....

    i must say, the red was awesome, but not mixing it with chlorine was HARD! if she'd said no Hawaiian Tropic, we'd have been up a creek!!!

  3. that is a convention pic! and, just to 'nerd' it up, i can tell you that we are wearing the new 'in colors'.....

    ah hem.... from left to right....

    dusty durango, crushed curry, rich razzleberry and melon mambo.

    a memory like that can bring back a whole week of bliss! :)

  4. Who are those incredibly beautiful girls with gorgeous hair with you in that picture? I'm especially captivated by the one standing in the middle with you, in the fabulous Rich Razzleberry shirt!! Wow!