Top 10 Reasons I'm the coolest mom EVER!
1. Musicians on my child's IPod include, but are not limited to: Dire Straits, Huey Lewis, Nickelback, Captain and Tenille, Maroon 5, Justin Timerlake, Jason Aldean, Little Big Town and Black Eyed Peas.
2. My 13 year old son just told me, 'Mom, you should seriously consider getting a YoVille.' and, I know what that means.
3. We swim at least 5 times a week in the summer.
4. We use SPF every time.
5. I can use the word 'Dude' correctly in a sentence.
6. I purchased spray on hair color for my children, and applied it appropriately several times.
7. We are always safe.
8. When we aren't safe, I always explain why.
9. We eat 'breakfast' for supper at least once a week.
10. The little mooches still want me to attend their events. So..... I do.
These are the 'rules' as I have neatly arranged them in my head. This is the truth I choose to believe.
Sadly, I had a break from the voices in my head that keep me all cool and hip, a few weekends ago at marching band contest, where I lapsed into Bizarro Mom for a short monologue to the bubs.
Scene: Saturday Afternoon Marching Band Contest
Location: The football stadium where I marched 90% of my games, in the 'olden' days. So, in all fairness, you could see this moment coming from a mile away.
Enter, Jag marching down the ramp with the High School Band.
Me: OH! Wow! Boys, did you see that? There they are! Marching down the ramp! When I was in high school, this is the stadium where we played all our games, and we marched down that ramp before every game,and there was like, 200 of us or more! And I was always near the front with the color guard, and we would look straight ahead at attention the whole time, and we would march down that big ramp and into the stadium and into the stands, at attention the whole time, and we would sit there in lines, and everyone was so impressed by us, because we were the coolest high school band in town, and everyone wanted to be like us, and no one else would march down the ramp because they were afraid that we would say they were coping us, and LOOK! There's Jag!
Now, you need to know that Jag's band did a fantastic job! I'm so proud of all of them! Seriously? How stinkin' cute is that beret? My kid is wearing a beret! Heart soars!
I'm also thankful to the Bubs, because they just smiled at me after my brief walk down memory lane. They actually wanted to know more, so I explained some more stuff about what Uncle T did with the percussion, and how awesome Aunt Megan was on that trumpet. There might have been some talk about video tapes that still exist, proving the oxymoron, that we were the 'coolest band' in town.
I think they actually thought it was cool! But, they're just 10, and they think bugs are cool, so let's keep it in perspective. Can you hear the voices? They're getting louder.