Rumors of my incarceration have been greatly exaggerated.

Happy New Year! Hey blog world? What's your New Year's Resolution?

Me?

I'm so glad you asked.

I think it's time to clean out closets at my house. It's been ** cough ** a long time.

The Bossman was cleaning out his side of the closet a few nights ago, and came upon some old costumes. They're striped 'prison inmate' costumes. Mav wants to know what they are, and why do we have them?

Bossman: That's what your mom used to wear in jail.
Mav: REALLY?
Bossman: Yes. She won't wear them anymore. Too many bad memories....
Fox: REALLY?
Bossman: Yes. Go ask her.

The boys run in and ask me, 'Mom? Have you ever been in jail?' I reply, (because I'm all clever and sarcastic), 'Who wants to know?'

OK, that was my mistake. Now, here's my problem.

My children think I've been in jail. They think I was only in jail on the weekends, because I had work release during the week. (Thank you Bossman for putting too much realism into the sarcastic story.) Those boys never even asked what I was locked up for. They just believed that I could be locked up for something.

The only way I was able to convince them that I'd never been locked up was to tell them that the school wouldn't have hired me if I had a record.

Problem solved. Or, so I thought.

Bossman tells them that my record is sealed to protect National Security. Great! Now homeland security is involved.

I certainly hope border patrol never pulls us over. I might get a free trip to Mexico. At least, there wouldn't be snow.

It's not all bad.... Mav won't jingle keys around me anymore. He doesn't want to 'stir up any bad memories of my time in jail.'