"Mother of The Year!" or "Did I REALLY say that?!" CH. 1 (PrissE)

Girls, what are we ALL most afraid of?  Well, yes.  We are afraid that our looks will fade, that our boobs will hit the floor and make the song, "Do Your Boobs Hang Low" actually come to fruition, and that we never be the slim super-model mom we want to be.  But...what is it that terrifies us most?  BECOMING OUR MOMS!

I'm sure you'll agree, after "witnessing" certain interactions between my children and me, that I am not in danger of anytime soon becoming my mother.  You might also be compelled to notify a therapist on my behalf...don't bother...no amount of therapy can change my genetic predisposition to "speaking a bit louder than my #1 voice," or my instinctive sarcastic response (and this IS a scientific/technical term known as ISR recently observed and noted by the experts at Starbucks--look it up)!  This is not to say that, at some point in the near or distant future, I won't exhibit SOME symptoms of maternal-morphing...after all, I did live with her for 18 full years plus four more years during weekends and holidays!

SCENE:
In the middle of the foyer, just inside the front entrance through which all Wednesday night attendees/families are entering, at church Wednesday night:

Big--"Mom, can I go play in the gym for a little bit with the other boys?"

Me--"No. It's time to go home. It's 7:00 and you have a book to finish."

Big (Here's where the boy made his fatal error)--"BUT, WE NEVER GET TO PLAY ANYMORE!!! YOU NEVER LET US PLAY AFTER CHURCH IN THE GYM!"

Me (apparently a little louder than my 'number 1 voice')--"LET'S TALK ABOUT WHAT 'YOU NEVER' AND 'I NEVER,' SHALL WE? FIRST, YOU NEVER HAVE TO GO WITHOUT ANY OF YOUR NEEDS MET--FOOD, SHELTER, CLOTHING, LOVE! SECOND, YOU NEVER HAVE TO GO WITHOUT HAVING SOME OF YOUR WANTS AND DESIRES MET--TOYS, FRIENDS SPENDING THE NIGHT, TRIPS, JUNKFOOD, SPORTS! THIRD, HERE'S WHAT 'I NEVER:' I NEVER BEAT YOU WITH A WIRE HANGER, I NEVER SELL YOU INTO CHILD SLAVERY, AND I NEVER BURN YOU WITH A CIGARETTE! NOW, WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONTINUE THIS CONVERSATION OR SHALL WE GO HOME AND BE RESPONSIBLE CITIZENS??

Big--"Can I ride with Dad?"

Little--"Me too?"

Me--"yes."

and, SCENE.






To be continued.....................................