Thursday, October 15, 2009

Things to which I am NOT opposed...

The following is a list of random situations that, as I go through my 'day-to-day,' I just happened to notice...I imagine that you, too, often find yourself saying, "You know, I'm not opposed to............."

I am NOT opposed to:

1.  Busting out in a serenade of love in the middle of the grocery store when I discover that they now, after 12 years of begging, carry my FAVE brand of deodorant!  P.S.  Every one in my carpool is singing a new song as well!

2.  Appropriate and properly implemented customer service skills...i.e. If you'd like to give me a lesson on 'how to correctly order my favorite coffee drink' that I've been ordering for 5+ years, THEN DON'T GIVE ME THE WRONG DRINK WHEN I JUST ORDERED IT FLAWLESSLY USING MY NEWLY ACQUIRED 'CORRECT ORDERING' SKILLS VIA YOUR INSTRUCTION!!

3.  Dollar stores that DON'T smell like a dollar bill that's been wadded up an stuffed in the back pocket of the Feed Lot manager's waders for a month!  You sell Febreeze!  Use it!

4.  Shock collars equipped with the in-ground sensors for kindergarten.  If you've ever volunteered/worked in/subbed in/or have one, you know what I'm talking about!

5.  Being forced to slam on my brakes because you've decided to move into my lane (A.K.A CUT ME OFF!) a little too closely to the front end of my car so that you could make a right hand turn into the parking lot of Rosa's Tortilla Factory...ONLY to decide at the absolute last possible moment that you don't want to turn into aforementioned parking lot!  It's Rosa's!!  It's the ONLY thing in the middle of the blooming field!  You couldn't decide PRIOR to running me off the road that you actually DON'T want a bean-n-cheese burrito with a side of queso and chips and an order of 1 dozen tortillas to take home????  By the way, I have your plate number, AND I know the make and model of your vehicle...AND I'M OFF MY ROAD RAGE MEDS!!!

6.  Telling a policeman--through the rolled up window of my moving car--"NO!  I will NOT drive through the RED light, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOG, just because you're waving me through an intersection where traffic coming perpendicular to me has a GREEN light!"  Did I mention that this was IN THE FOG!???

7.  New traffic lights that function properly and safely.  Yes, I'm talking to you TXDOT...if you install a traffic light and leave it as a blinking intersection light for a random number of months, then suddenly decide to activate the light--at random times of day--it might behoove you to inform the public!  Especially since this light affects a major roadway and Starbucks!  Have you tried to pull out of Starbucks during morning rush when you have no idea what to expect from said light?!

8.  Writing letters to my government officials--whether local, state or federal--in order to inform them of my decisions involving the governing of our society.  I also write letters to businesses that my input may benefit (hence the current in-progress development of the series "Don't Patronize Me").

.....It seems as though at least half of my UNopposed issues deal with traffic/vehicular situations...perhaps a letter to TXDOT is in order.


  1. Cute car!! Great summary of some very challenging situations that result in some great smiles and laughter from me! Gotta love a good traffic story involving the love of bean-n-cheese burritos that is forgotten once the car has successfully cut you off! Hope the letter writing goes well and results in some fun blog posts of the responses you receive. Hey maybe some free starbucks money from the patronizing employee?!

  2. well said my friend!

    which road rage meds are you on? because i think a refill is in order....

  3. Who needs road rage meds? Oh, that's right, I do! I would like to add a few things to your list if I may...

    9. Honking your horn to the person that pulled out directly in front of you when you have a green light and they have a red light, especially since there is not a soul behind you and they could have waited a whole 3 more seconds and had the entire road to themselves rather than making you slam on your brakes so you don't hit them.

    10. Giving the stink eye to people that don't know proper driving rules. People please! People going straight have the right away over people turning left so get going would you please? Why do you wait until there are cars coming again before you move your car? So, I miss my chance at turning left because unlike you, I obey the traffic laws and I know that you are supposed to go before me!

    Oops...sorry I highjacked your post PrissE!

  4. BikerCandy,
    WELL SAID! I think you and I should develop a training seminar--not like driver's education or defensive driving--but a "It's NOT Road Rage, I'm Just Right!" training seminar. I think ALL traffic law-violators should be required by the state to attend!

  5. Thanks for the accolades FamilyForrest and Sassy!! I love the idea of a free Starbucks drink...and the meds I'm on, well they have a few "side effects" least that's what we'll call them.

  6. i would like to serve refreshments at the ROAD RAGE class! please!! i think that would made an excellent reality show! PrissE and BikerCandy lead the way to safer streets and smarter drivers, while i serve up the refreshments.... come on, there always has to be refreshments!!!

  7. YOU are IN! Bring on the "YOU CUT ME OFF! YOU SON OF A........." punch! All of the refreshments have to have names like that--ones that would completely come from a 'traffic issue!'