(Always remember, Drama Dive isn't real, she's a fictitious story, mostly in my head.... therefore; how could this story possibly be about YOU.)
Whew! One week of daily exfoliating done just in time for this windy football game. Naturally, my outfit is superb.
Team colors, check.
Rhinestone necklace and matching flip flops, check.
Two weights of jackets, check. I'm ready!!
Sure, flip flops might be a bit cool for the game, but this pedicure can't be hidden. That would be a crime.
Here I sit, just bringing exceeding measures of joy to every passerby. But, what's this? No takers to share my witty football comments? RATS!! My recent incarceration must be on the rumor mill.
This town has a rumor mill that could employ 100 people year round for their entire lives. Those employees must work a ton of overtime to keep it churning this long. Too bad the recession doesn't shut stupid people's mouths.
Great..... Lady Talks-a-lot and her husband, Spitty Laugher just sat down behind me. Geez.... I hope they brought all their sneezy children. OK, remain calm.... there's still plenty of room in front of me and beside me, maybe the evening won't be a total loss.
Wait, Spitty Laugher has the whole extended Spitty family with him. I wonder if the umbrella is in the car?
Look away, act busy, cell phone please ring.... please ring... please don't let Her Majesty, Queen of Lies see me..... wait, too late, she sees me. Here she comes. CRAP!! Here comes an empty conversation.
Fake smile, check. Hold on, here we go.
Her Majesty proclaims, "Hello!!! My gosh, how are you? Let me tell you an obnoxious lie about my oldest child. Yes, he's a mean bastard, but he's the smartest person in the universe and he allows peasants to serve him. The patience of this saint is beyond me...." and, then I blacked out from boredom for approximately 10 minutes, until Her Majesty walked away. (Alright, it's possible I'm paraphrasing.)
Whew! Game finally begins.
Great Game!! Super fun! Luckily for me, only my cute model husband and my own delightful children are close by. NOW, I can be appreciated for my full value. Sure!! Let's share some popcorn!
My family is the best! We are so pleasant others admire us from afar. We are being gazed at by others. Let the rumor mill churn on that for awhile. Hear that people? Gaze at me from afar, go ahead.... admire my life!
Better yet, DON'T.