No small talk or chit chat necessary. Listen up!
1. The use of incorrect grammar in a public place! If you're going to misuse the tense of a verb, PLEASE, for the Love of Pete, do it in the privacy of your own mind!!!
2. Leaving an entire car length between you and the vehicle in front of you--ESPECIALLY if your car length is that of a BUS!--in the drive through lanes...especially at Starbucks! Obviously, I haven't had my necessary amount of caffeine to render me civil at this point, SO PULL UP!!!!!! I can get out of my car and come tap on your window! Do you REALLY want that?
4. The exploitation of Tsunami waves to steal/rob/commit a bank heist! Tsunamis have rights! Thank you CSI Miami for bringing this delicate yet troublesome issue to the forefront of our television-saturated minds!
5. Kindergartners without shock collars.
6. Being told, "You are OVERqualified." If I'm SO qualified, wouldn't you WANT me on your team???? Or, are you holding out for that "sort of" qualified, mediocre, do the bare minimum potential employee? You are? Oh. When your business files for Chapter 11, revisit this conversation and see if you can figure out where things went awry!
7. My 5 year old asking, seriously, if SHE can be MY weight-loss coach! Please refer to #5 on this list and anticipate a chapter dedicated to the 'encouragement, motivation, and advice' given me by said 5 year old in my blog series titled, "Fat Free!"
8. Being mistaken for an Ulta employee. Just because I can ROCK a black smock--while sitting in the salon, DUH!--does NOT an Ulta employee make me! P.S. You don't NEED more straightener...you need SERIOUS iron guard! Or a baler!